Hygiene Issues

[P-nut2004]

We're having major hygiene issues with LM, she's 9 & already starting puberty. She won't wipe, doesn't wash in the shower unless you stand in there & monitor her, wont use deodorant so she smells like BO all the time. She refuses to brush her hair. I fix it every morning & she takes it down & comes home a mess. She won't wipe her face & walks around with food on her face & 'drink mustaches'. She lies about brushing her teeth. And when it comes to clothing she WILL ask for something cute to wear but per her skewed rules of cute which means a dress or skirt & dress shoes bc jeans are not cute. But then she doesn't even attempt to keep herself looking nice. She comes home everyday looking like a homeless child or one of those kids they put in the commercials to get you to donate money; covered in dirt, hair everywhere & greasy if I didn't wash it for her. It's driving me insane & she really doesn't care about any of it. I know this behavior is a red flag for several things but I don't know specifically what. Anyone else having this issue? & what do you do??

 

[BusynMember]

My opinion?

She's only nine with many other more pressing issues. Natural consequences may work here. If she won't clean up, the other kids will notice and possibly point it out to her. I would not choose this to fight over at her age. My easy child did not care about how she looked at age nine. Yes, she would shower and brush her teeth, but that was about it. She's 16 now and not a hair is ever out of place.

I would personally keep the focus on what the big picture is here and hope that once you know what's going on, other things will fall into place in due time.

If you have a good sense of humor and your daughter gets embarassed, you can try what my friend did when her daughter refused to dress at all for school. She took her daughter to school in her PJ's and she wore her PJ's to school as well and did not comb her hair. Her daughter dressed from then on. The school personnel thought it was a riot.

 

[Dixies_fire]

Tk is 8 and does the ragamuffin thing. She washes and brushes her teeth, but even the teeth thing is new without having to be reminded supervised or nagged and it was only when I gave her a blatant demonstration of all the work done on my teeth by the dentist ( and i care for them and always have ) that she started doing it by herself.

But she comes home with her hair crazy and keeps a koolaid smile. I don't stress about these things.

I would by some wet toilet wipes for bigger kids and tell her they are easier to use.
And try not to be in her face so often on her about washing, let her help pick out soap and shampoo for herself at the store. The more you fight her the more she will probably resist.

Just my perspective and I'm not super zen about lack of hygiene either see toilet clogging post.