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I am numb. Absolutely numb.
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<blockquote data-quote="Methuselah" data-source="post: 484850" data-attributes="member: 12725"><p>I'm going to try to write what happened at the meeting to discuss difficult child 1's award for Outstanding Student today, but my brain and heart are so frazzled, I may not be able.</p><p></p><p>We had two meetings today. The first one was with the nominating teacher, difficult child 1's ARROGANT vice principal and her counselor. The second was with the principal. It is the former that has me feeling like I am walking in a dream. </p><p></p><p>The intention of the meeting was to explain to the teacher why we had requested the award be rescinded and our overall lack of enthusiasm for her "success". The meeting was an intensely emotional meeting. The counselor, who has experience working with kids like difficult child 1, didn't say a word but had a look on her face of empathy and sorrow. The teacher ended up crying. I think she was overwhelmed by it all and to have her image of difficult child 1 shattered. But the kicker of the meeting was the ARROGANT VP. We had problems before with her when talked to her about difficult child 2's stealing. She DISMISSED what we because she had "observed her in the hall for six days and witnessed her use excellent phone manners". Today, I thought we were going to get in a fist fight. The gist of it? We don't support difficult child 1 and difficult child 1 acts the way she does probably because she believes everyone hates her. I was lived!!!! She has this preconceived idea who these girls are based on their appearance and manners, not even on documented past behaviors! It is our fault! All our fault! She can't grasp that our whole family feels this way because we are on constant alert for hateful behavior. The VP had a challenging teenager, I know this because she brings this to our attention all the time. I asked her did she ever take knives to kill you in the night? Draw pictures of herself killing one of your other children? When we explained how the award will confirm in difficult child 1 that how she is living her life and treating others is the right way to do it and the severe ramifications to my other kids would be significant, she told us if spun it positively our other kids would understand the award. I told her it is like saying to an abused wife "see your husband is a great, kind and generous man." How do you positively spin that? It was an awful meeting because this woman is an awful person. I would not be surprised if she reports us to CPS. </p><p></p><p>Our second meeting with the principal went better, mainly because she listened first, commented, listened again, etc. At first, she put difficult child 1 in with TTs. After explaining a little more, she said she had some kids that extreme. After explaining further, she said in all her career, she has two or three like that. She said she couldn't rescind the award, but she will give to her in her office with the counselor present. It will be explained to her it has to do with her behavior and effort in this one class and is not a reward for her behavior at home. It isn't what we wanted but it better than what we expected. </p><p></p><p>A lot more happened, but my mind is mush. All I have to do is think of the VP, and I cry. :-( I'm sorry if this doesn't make much sense. I'm worn out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Methuselah, post: 484850, member: 12725"] I'm going to try to write what happened at the meeting to discuss difficult child 1's award for Outstanding Student today, but my brain and heart are so frazzled, I may not be able. We had two meetings today. The first one was with the nominating teacher, difficult child 1's ARROGANT vice principal and her counselor. The second was with the principal. It is the former that has me feeling like I am walking in a dream. The intention of the meeting was to explain to the teacher why we had requested the award be rescinded and our overall lack of enthusiasm for her "success". The meeting was an intensely emotional meeting. The counselor, who has experience working with kids like difficult child 1, didn't say a word but had a look on her face of empathy and sorrow. The teacher ended up crying. I think she was overwhelmed by it all and to have her image of difficult child 1 shattered. But the kicker of the meeting was the ARROGANT VP. We had problems before with her when talked to her about difficult child 2's stealing. She DISMISSED what we because she had "observed her in the hall for six days and witnessed her use excellent phone manners". Today, I thought we were going to get in a fist fight. The gist of it? We don't support difficult child 1 and difficult child 1 acts the way she does probably because she believes everyone hates her. I was lived!!!! She has this preconceived idea who these girls are based on their appearance and manners, not even on documented past behaviors! It is our fault! All our fault! She can't grasp that our whole family feels this way because we are on constant alert for hateful behavior. The VP had a challenging teenager, I know this because she brings this to our attention all the time. I asked her did she ever take knives to kill you in the night? Draw pictures of herself killing one of your other children? When we explained how the award will confirm in difficult child 1 that how she is living her life and treating others is the right way to do it and the severe ramifications to my other kids would be significant, she told us if spun it positively our other kids would understand the award. I told her it is like saying to an abused wife "see your husband is a great, kind and generous man." How do you positively spin that? It was an awful meeting because this woman is an awful person. I would not be surprised if she reports us to CPS. Our second meeting with the principal went better, mainly because she listened first, commented, listened again, etc. At first, she put difficult child 1 in with TTs. After explaining a little more, she said she had some kids that extreme. After explaining further, she said in all her career, she has two or three like that. She said she couldn't rescind the award, but she will give to her in her office with the counselor present. It will be explained to her it has to do with her behavior and effort in this one class and is not a reward for her behavior at home. It isn't what we wanted but it better than what we expected. A lot more happened, but my mind is mush. All I have to do is think of the VP, and I cry. :-( I'm sorry if this doesn't make much sense. I'm worn out. [/QUOTE]
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