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I am the worst daughter in the world
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 619544" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Honey, you already know how your parents will feel. You have done this, before. You wrote us to learn whether there was an angle you hadn't tried, already. </p><p></p><p>Yes, there is.</p><p></p><p>Can you understand this is not about your parents. There will come a day when it won't be heartache you will see in your father's eyes, but cold realization. </p><p></p><p>At that point, your father will declare his freedom. Not from you. <u>This has never been about you, difficult child.</u> Your father will come to his senses. He will realize you are grown, and that you are who you choose to be. If he is like we are, here, he will simply turn away. We are not stupid or blind. We see what our children are doing. What we do not see is that our children are not who we believe them to be. They are not the children we cherished, not the children we sacrificed our own lives for, not the children we raised.</p><p></p><p>All love, difficult child, is mostly the wish to love. Is mostly the decision to cherish, to sacrifice for, to celebrate over.</p><p></p><p>Once a parent sees...there is a coldness that comes, difficult child.</p><p></p><p>Right now, you envision oh, the pain of seeing (one more time) the heartache in your father's eyes. It will be a strange day for you, difficult child, when you look into your father's eyes (if you ever do again, once he sees) and realize there is nothing there, at all. Not pain, not love, not even curiosity.</p><p></p><p>Though you do not know it now, that will be the true cost of the actions you take today, difficult child.</p><p></p><p><u>You can turn this around. You can change the course of your life, difficult child. You know right from wrong. You begin by doing the small things right. Every smallest step in a good direction will take you to a different, better place than the one you are heading for, this morning.</u></p><p></p><p>Every smallest step, difficult child.</p><p></p><p>Believe me when I tell you this has nothing to do with your parents.</p><p></p><p>You are weaving your own future difficult child, with every step you take.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>P.S. Knowing what the flavor of our responses was likely to be, you described your situation honestly and invited our comments. This means you have courage, difficult child. </p><p></p><p>You have everything you need, to make these changes.</p><p></p><p>If you keep posting here, we can help.</p><p></p><p>***********</p><p></p><p>"Til the first friend dies, we think ecstasy impersonal, but then discover that he was the cup from which we drank it, itself as yet unknown."</p><p></p><p>J Krishnamurti</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 619544, member: 17461"] Honey, you already know how your parents will feel. You have done this, before. You wrote us to learn whether there was an angle you hadn't tried, already. Yes, there is. Can you understand this is not about your parents. There will come a day when it won't be heartache you will see in your father's eyes, but cold realization. At that point, your father will declare his freedom. Not from you. [U]This has never been about you, difficult child.[/U] Your father will come to his senses. He will realize you are grown, and that you are who you choose to be. If he is like we are, here, he will simply turn away. We are not stupid or blind. We see what our children are doing. What we do not see is that our children are not who we believe them to be. They are not the children we cherished, not the children we sacrificed our own lives for, not the children we raised. All love, difficult child, is mostly the wish to love. Is mostly the decision to cherish, to sacrifice for, to celebrate over. Once a parent sees...there is a coldness that comes, difficult child. Right now, you envision oh, the pain of seeing (one more time) the heartache in your father's eyes. It will be a strange day for you, difficult child, when you look into your father's eyes (if you ever do again, once he sees) and realize there is nothing there, at all. Not pain, not love, not even curiosity. Though you do not know it now, that will be the true cost of the actions you take today, difficult child. [U]You can turn this around. You can change the course of your life, difficult child. You know right from wrong. You begin by doing the small things right. Every smallest step in a good direction will take you to a different, better place than the one you are heading for, this morning.[/U] Every smallest step, difficult child. Believe me when I tell you this has nothing to do with your parents. You are weaving your own future difficult child, with every step you take. Cedar P.S. Knowing what the flavor of our responses was likely to be, you described your situation honestly and invited our comments. This means you have courage, difficult child. You have everything you need, to make these changes. If you keep posting here, we can help. *********** "Til the first friend dies, we think ecstasy impersonal, but then discover that he was the cup from which we drank it, itself as yet unknown." J Krishnamurti [/QUOTE]
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