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I am the worst daughter in the world
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<blockquote data-quote="Sabine" data-source="post: 619557" data-attributes="member: 17639"><p>One of the most helpful things you can do right now, is spend some time writing a little story.</p><p></p><p>Pencil to paper (or wordperfect, doesn't matter).. write a story about a guy named Bob and all the thoughts and events that surrounded him when he decided to steal the identity of an unrelated neighbor, "Mrs. Potts". Make sure Bob doesn't really know Mrs. Potts, she's just a nice little lady down the street. What happens to Mrs. Potts? What happens to Bob? </p><p></p><p>If you can take yourself out of your skin, and think of the situation objectively (from an impartial observer's point of view), it should help you know what you should do in this situation.</p><p></p><p>Write your plan down, rehearse. Take your embarrassment and squish it under your shoe, because embarrassment keeps you from doing the right thing.. every. single. time. Being an adult means dropping your embarrassment outside when there's work to be done inside.</p><p></p><p>When you've done all the work, sit down with your parents, and tell them what you've done. Tell them your plan as to how to make it right. Have a backup plan in case they kick you out. Have clean underwear in case they call the cops. It would show good faith (and lessen the likelihood of them calling the cops) if you give them YOUR ENTIRE PAYCHECKS at the time of the meeting. </p><p></p><p>You are correct that $4k isn't that much money (to die or go to jail over), but if you are only earning 12k a year, and have to spend 11k on housing and food, it's going to take you 4 years to pay it back, and that's assuming no interest! Add interest, and it'll take you a decade to pay it back. How long has it been since you were 12? A decade is a long time! $4k is a LOT of money for a young adult. </p><p></p><p>Best thing to do is get your own credit card, transfer the balances to it, move out, keep the jobs, and your destiny is completely on your own shoulders. Get some financial counseling (in addition to all the other types already mentioned). </p><p></p><p>Your parents have put their time and effort in to get to the financial place they are at. You can't expect to start out living as comfortably as they are. It just doesn't work that way. You have to get used to eating ramen noodles and canned beans instead of steak and asparagus. You don't go buy a bookshelf, you use concrete blocks and 2x4s. THAT is the reality of young adulthood. Create a budget, and live within it. Period.</p><p></p><p>IF your parents are kind enough to give you "one last chance", have your employers send them your checks directly. Ask your parents for gas money and tampon money. Live without purchasing a THING until you've worked off the debt. Once the debt is paid off, ask your parents to continue holding your money until you've earned enough for a security deposit and some start-up cash (maybe 1000). By that time, you've gotten accustomed to not buying anything, and you'll be able to make better choices.</p><p></p><p>Practice going to the grocery store (with NO money on you), look at what there is, and how much it costs. Figure out the cheapest way to eat, make a plan. When you go out on your own, you can be ready.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sabine, post: 619557, member: 17639"] One of the most helpful things you can do right now, is spend some time writing a little story. Pencil to paper (or wordperfect, doesn't matter).. write a story about a guy named Bob and all the thoughts and events that surrounded him when he decided to steal the identity of an unrelated neighbor, "Mrs. Potts". Make sure Bob doesn't really know Mrs. Potts, she's just a nice little lady down the street. What happens to Mrs. Potts? What happens to Bob? If you can take yourself out of your skin, and think of the situation objectively (from an impartial observer's point of view), it should help you know what you should do in this situation. Write your plan down, rehearse. Take your embarrassment and squish it under your shoe, because embarrassment keeps you from doing the right thing.. every. single. time. Being an adult means dropping your embarrassment outside when there's work to be done inside. When you've done all the work, sit down with your parents, and tell them what you've done. Tell them your plan as to how to make it right. Have a backup plan in case they kick you out. Have clean underwear in case they call the cops. It would show good faith (and lessen the likelihood of them calling the cops) if you give them YOUR ENTIRE PAYCHECKS at the time of the meeting. You are correct that $4k isn't that much money (to die or go to jail over), but if you are only earning 12k a year, and have to spend 11k on housing and food, it's going to take you 4 years to pay it back, and that's assuming no interest! Add interest, and it'll take you a decade to pay it back. How long has it been since you were 12? A decade is a long time! $4k is a LOT of money for a young adult. Best thing to do is get your own credit card, transfer the balances to it, move out, keep the jobs, and your destiny is completely on your own shoulders. Get some financial counseling (in addition to all the other types already mentioned). Your parents have put their time and effort in to get to the financial place they are at. You can't expect to start out living as comfortably as they are. It just doesn't work that way. You have to get used to eating ramen noodles and canned beans instead of steak and asparagus. You don't go buy a bookshelf, you use concrete blocks and 2x4s. THAT is the reality of young adulthood. Create a budget, and live within it. Period. IF your parents are kind enough to give you "one last chance", have your employers send them your checks directly. Ask your parents for gas money and tampon money. Live without purchasing a THING until you've worked off the debt. Once the debt is paid off, ask your parents to continue holding your money until you've earned enough for a security deposit and some start-up cash (maybe 1000). By that time, you've gotten accustomed to not buying anything, and you'll be able to make better choices. Practice going to the grocery store (with NO money on you), look at what there is, and how much it costs. Figure out the cheapest way to eat, make a plan. When you go out on your own, you can be ready. [/QUOTE]
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