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I am the worst daughter in the world
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 619566" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Onbehalfofgfg's..........it took courage to tell on yourself. Perhaps that is a rehearsal for the next step, to tell your parents the truth. I am old enough to be your grandmother so I am going to give you my "elder" advice here...........to the degree that you continue to lie, or lie by omission, or keep secrets, or manipulate or whatever you do to avoid the truth...........pieces of your life will not work, those pieces will be contaminated by this black hole of dishonesty you hold within you. We all have to face the pockets of lies or denial or untruths within us, that is part of the human experience and certainly a part of growing up to be a healthy and successful adult. The more difficult it is to do, the larger the relief you will feel afterwards, even if you face some dire consequences..........you will be free of the lie. Each lie destroys a part of us, it takes a toll you can't see and sometimes don't feel..........<strong>..yet............but <u>there is always a price to pay</u></strong><u>.</u></p><p></p><p>The remarkable thing is that you can change all of that in an instant by walking directly into the lions den and admitting what you've done. Having done that quite a few times myself, I can tell you this...........you will feel an instant and gratifying sense of lightness and liberation once the black hole of lies is revealed. You will free yourself and you will free your parents................because most of us parents really do know the truth, we just don't want to face it............so your lies hurt them so much more then if you bit the bullet and owned up to all of it. As angry as they may be, they will be free of it and it will be over.............then you can all move on and heal...........</p><p></p><p>Life is a series of lessons...........we face them and we move on. Here is another piece that I know to be true...........when you don't deal with something, when you purposefully deny the reality and bury your darkness.............in short order,what was once a relatively small issue, will get much bigger and much uglier as you hide from the truth. With each step in that direction, you can be assured that the lie will grow and grow until it takes over your life and you get buried underneath it.............summon up your courage, own up to what you've done and face whatever the fallout is. You can then respect yourself and make changes.</p><p></p><p><u>Show up, pay attention, tell the truth and let go of the outcome. </u>That is called the Four Fold Way. A Native American conflict resolution guide. Use it and go do it. If you don't, you will justify doing the same exact thing again and again until in reality<strong> all you are is a lying thief.</strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 619566, member: 13542"] Onbehalfofgfg's..........it took courage to tell on yourself. Perhaps that is a rehearsal for the next step, to tell your parents the truth. I am old enough to be your grandmother so I am going to give you my "elder" advice here...........to the degree that you continue to lie, or lie by omission, or keep secrets, or manipulate or whatever you do to avoid the truth...........pieces of your life will not work, those pieces will be contaminated by this black hole of dishonesty you hold within you. We all have to face the pockets of lies or denial or untruths within us, that is part of the human experience and certainly a part of growing up to be a healthy and successful adult. The more difficult it is to do, the larger the relief you will feel afterwards, even if you face some dire consequences..........you will be free of the lie. Each lie destroys a part of us, it takes a toll you can't see and sometimes don't feel..........[B]..yet............but [U]there is always a price to pay[/U][/B][U].[/U] The remarkable thing is that you can change all of that in an instant by walking directly into the lions den and admitting what you've done. Having done that quite a few times myself, I can tell you this...........you will feel an instant and gratifying sense of lightness and liberation once the black hole of lies is revealed. You will free yourself and you will free your parents................because most of us parents really do know the truth, we just don't want to face it............so your lies hurt them so much more then if you bit the bullet and owned up to all of it. As angry as they may be, they will be free of it and it will be over.............then you can all move on and heal........... Life is a series of lessons...........we face them and we move on. Here is another piece that I know to be true...........when you don't deal with something, when you purposefully deny the reality and bury your darkness.............in short order,what was once a relatively small issue, will get much bigger and much uglier as you hide from the truth. With each step in that direction, you can be assured that the lie will grow and grow until it takes over your life and you get buried underneath it.............summon up your courage, own up to what you've done and face whatever the fallout is. You can then respect yourself and make changes. [U]Show up, pay attention, tell the truth and let go of the outcome. [/U]That is called the Four Fold Way. A Native American conflict resolution guide. Use it and go do it. If you don't, you will justify doing the same exact thing again and again until in reality[B] all you are is a lying thief.[/B] [/QUOTE]
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