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I can't do this anymore...I need help
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 478849" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hello and welcome, Palomina. </p><p>I was intrigued by something... you refer to cooking for 5 people - so presumably you also have a husband or partner with you? Yet you do not mention him at all. Where does he stand on all this and what is his relationship with the boys? </p><p>I second what Midwest Mom says and she asks some important questions. Unfortunately these kind of kids have to be parented rather differently because the good old-fashioned ordinary sort of parenting just doesn't seem to work with them and is actually counter-productive. It is interesting that your sons are so close in age - sounds like they have become fixed allies in the War Against Authority... Refusing to take a shower doesn't matter so much (though I understand it is very aggravating and unpleasant for all concerned) - saying that they want to kill you and basically behaving in anarchic ways does matter very much. ADHD doesn't explain it - although I think ADHD kids are often difficult, not to this degree. Something else is certainly going on. </p><p>I am sure others will give you pointers to the best places to go for greater support and more evaluations within the US. Of course you are not horrible for hating their behaviour - you are a normal human being with normal tolerance levels, not (I presume) a saint <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>You have to be what you are already - a warrior parent. Not that you are literally in a war with your children but you need energy and initiative (the very things that have been drained from you) to take arms against this sea of troubles... Coming here to the forum is one way of arming yourself with insight and understanding. Do please tell us more.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 478849, member: 11227"] Hello and welcome, Palomina. I was intrigued by something... you refer to cooking for 5 people - so presumably you also have a husband or partner with you? Yet you do not mention him at all. Where does he stand on all this and what is his relationship with the boys? I second what Midwest Mom says and she asks some important questions. Unfortunately these kind of kids have to be parented rather differently because the good old-fashioned ordinary sort of parenting just doesn't seem to work with them and is actually counter-productive. It is interesting that your sons are so close in age - sounds like they have become fixed allies in the War Against Authority... Refusing to take a shower doesn't matter so much (though I understand it is very aggravating and unpleasant for all concerned) - saying that they want to kill you and basically behaving in anarchic ways does matter very much. ADHD doesn't explain it - although I think ADHD kids are often difficult, not to this degree. Something else is certainly going on. I am sure others will give you pointers to the best places to go for greater support and more evaluations within the US. Of course you are not horrible for hating their behaviour - you are a normal human being with normal tolerance levels, not (I presume) a saint :) You have to be what you are already - a warrior parent. Not that you are literally in a war with your children but you need energy and initiative (the very things that have been drained from you) to take arms against this sea of troubles... Coming here to the forum is one way of arming yourself with insight and understanding. Do please tell us more. [/QUOTE]
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