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I can't do this anymore...I need help
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 478855"><p>First of all, take a deep breath. Please understand that you are not alone and that none of this is your fault. None!! I want to emphasize that because I heard for so many years that it was all my fault. If I was a better mother. If I only mothered him properly. It's got nothing to do with you. It's the way your boys are wired and they are just different than your daughter. And I understand the need to keep your daughter safe from them. I go throught that with my younger son. I want my boys to have a relationship and to play together and be nice to each other, but at the same time difficult child can be really cruel to easy child and it's hard to find some kind of balance for that.</p><p></p><p>You said that your older difficult child was has a diagnosis of ADHD. Does he currently take any medications for it? How do the boys do in school, when they are not falling asleep, that is?</p><p></p><p>I'm going to ask the same questions that Malika did. Where is their father? I have learned from my own experiences that it is IMPERATIVE that their father be on the same page with you when it comes to disciplining your boys. My difficult child tried to years to play divide and conquer and it was working for a while. I finally made husband get on the same page that I was and it not only had an effect on how I felt about my son, but it was a huge influence on problems that husband and I were having at the time. You need someone in your corner.</p><p></p><p>I know what you mean when you say that you hate the weekend. I am a stay at home mom, and my friends think I am nuts when I say that my favorite day of the week is Monday. Kids back to school, husband back to work, and I have a few hours to decompress until the weekly chaos begins again. And your feeling of not liking your kids very much? Been there, done that, have the T-shirt to prove it. We've all felt that way from time to time, especially our difficult children are in full difficult child mode! It's normal.</p><p></p><p>The only other suggestion I would make would be for you to see a therapist for yourself, if that is possible. It helps, believe me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 478855"] First of all, take a deep breath. Please understand that you are not alone and that none of this is your fault. None!! I want to emphasize that because I heard for so many years that it was all my fault. If I was a better mother. If I only mothered him properly. It's got nothing to do with you. It's the way your boys are wired and they are just different than your daughter. And I understand the need to keep your daughter safe from them. I go throught that with my younger son. I want my boys to have a relationship and to play together and be nice to each other, but at the same time difficult child can be really cruel to easy child and it's hard to find some kind of balance for that. You said that your older difficult child was has a diagnosis of ADHD. Does he currently take any medications for it? How do the boys do in school, when they are not falling asleep, that is? I'm going to ask the same questions that Malika did. Where is their father? I have learned from my own experiences that it is IMPERATIVE that their father be on the same page with you when it comes to disciplining your boys. My difficult child tried to years to play divide and conquer and it was working for a while. I finally made husband get on the same page that I was and it not only had an effect on how I felt about my son, but it was a huge influence on problems that husband and I were having at the time. You need someone in your corner. I know what you mean when you say that you hate the weekend. I am a stay at home mom, and my friends think I am nuts when I say that my favorite day of the week is Monday. Kids back to school, husband back to work, and I have a few hours to decompress until the weekly chaos begins again. And your feeling of not liking your kids very much? Been there, done that, have the T-shirt to prove it. We've all felt that way from time to time, especially our difficult children are in full difficult child mode! It's normal. The only other suggestion I would make would be for you to see a therapist for yourself, if that is possible. It helps, believe me. [/QUOTE]
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