Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I can't do this anymore...I need help
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 478875" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi Palomina! Welcome to the club no one wanted to join but since we have to be here....this is the best chapter to join. My questions have all been covered by the first three responses. And I fourth, with tons of emphasis....NOT YOUR FAULT, NOT YOUR WEAKNESS, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL YOUR FEELINGS. Problem is that society in general just can't imagine that there really are kids who just are wired in a way that typical parenting methods do not work well for. The proof of that is that there ARE success stories that happen in whole or in part when new, out of the box ideas are put into place. Is it easy??? NOPE Do we need to develop really tough skin??? YUP (still working hard on that one)</p><p></p><p>One thing I will add, if you dont have it already, please take the time to get and read "the Explosive Child" by Ross Green. It not only gives us different ideas of parenting these kinds of kiddos, but it gave me permission to not feel guilty for the number of battles I was not facing (for the moment, since there were priorities). I do understand that hygine is a huge issue, but if I had to prioritize, safety would be first. Once overall stress and battles are relieved in our homes, it often is a tiny bit easier to work on issue number two (basket B in explosive child terms). Not coming home to check in without prior permission would be a huge issue for me. (I have a son with 24/7 supervision issues so know it is really tough to do, but it is what it is...not an option for him and he hates it.) Perfectly reasonable to not make a battle out of food. You make it, they dont eat with you, then put it in the fridge (maybe even on their plates) and they can microwave it or eat it cold or make PBJ, dont need to say a word about it, smile. </p><p></p><p>You sound like you are doing the best you can at this point. Please check in often if you can/need to, and fill us in a little more if you are comfortable doing so. The idea for a complete neuropsychological evaluation is really important. Something is going on here beyond adhd. </p><p></p><p>{{{HUGS}}} Buddy</p><p></p><p></p><p>PS this is way out of my comfort zone, but others here can comment, if they are so bent on not being home, even at their young ages, is there a chance, no matter how slim, of using drugs/drinking? Can you have them screened (just say it is part of a physical).... preditors can get these kiddos really young, especially difficult child's who have poor impulse control and behavior issues.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 478875, member: 12886"] Hi Palomina! Welcome to the club no one wanted to join but since we have to be here....this is the best chapter to join. My questions have all been covered by the first three responses. And I fourth, with tons of emphasis....NOT YOUR FAULT, NOT YOUR WEAKNESS, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL YOUR FEELINGS. Problem is that society in general just can't imagine that there really are kids who just are wired in a way that typical parenting methods do not work well for. The proof of that is that there ARE success stories that happen in whole or in part when new, out of the box ideas are put into place. Is it easy??? NOPE Do we need to develop really tough skin??? YUP (still working hard on that one) One thing I will add, if you dont have it already, please take the time to get and read "the Explosive Child" by Ross Green. It not only gives us different ideas of parenting these kinds of kiddos, but it gave me permission to not feel guilty for the number of battles I was not facing (for the moment, since there were priorities). I do understand that hygine is a huge issue, but if I had to prioritize, safety would be first. Once overall stress and battles are relieved in our homes, it often is a tiny bit easier to work on issue number two (basket B in explosive child terms). Not coming home to check in without prior permission would be a huge issue for me. (I have a son with 24/7 supervision issues so know it is really tough to do, but it is what it is...not an option for him and he hates it.) Perfectly reasonable to not make a battle out of food. You make it, they dont eat with you, then put it in the fridge (maybe even on their plates) and they can microwave it or eat it cold or make PBJ, dont need to say a word about it, smile. You sound like you are doing the best you can at this point. Please check in often if you can/need to, and fill us in a little more if you are comfortable doing so. The idea for a complete neuropsychological evaluation is really important. Something is going on here beyond adhd. {{{HUGS}}} Buddy PS this is way out of my comfort zone, but others here can comment, if they are so bent on not being home, even at their young ages, is there a chance, no matter how slim, of using drugs/drinking? Can you have them screened (just say it is part of a physical).... preditors can get these kiddos really young, especially difficult child's who have poor impulse control and behavior issues. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I can't do this anymore...I need help
Top