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I can't do this anymore...I need help
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 479177" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You have very complicated sons and unfortunately it is going to be kind of hard to sort out what is going on with them. They are a bit like kids who adopted at older ages because they have been through a few men and there are also mental health issues on the genetic family tree. I am betting that Biological Father also has some mental health problems in his family tree. </p><p></p><p>NeuroPsychs are in my opinion the best diagnosticians available as they actually do testing. However, if I were you, I would Google up "Attachment Disorder" and see if you think any of those symptoms fit as part of the big picture. When young children have multiple caregivers they can grow to have less-than-adequate attachments to their caregivers. It is possible that to them husband is just another man and nobody they need to care for or listen to. This isn't because he's not a GREAT guy...he probably is...it is a self-preservation that kids form when they do not have a consistent parent in their lives. The fact that hub #2 was an abusive jerk probably did not help them think well of men either.</p><p></p><p>These kids could have childhood mood disorders, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), a hodge-podge of problems all together but in my opinion it is probably more than ADHD/ODD. ODD in of itself is not in my opinion a very useful diagnosis as it means "child is defiant." Ok, well, we know that. WHY? A neuropsychologist can help you find out why.</p><p></p><p>Neuropsychs can be found at university and children's hospitals. Because they are popular to visit, there can be long waiting lists, but they are worth it! While you are waiting, I strongly suggest family therapy so that all of you can talk and be on the same page. </p><p></p><p>I am really sorry you are having such a hard time, and I hope you find the answers soon and get the right kind of help for you little ones and for yourself and husband. Keep us posted <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 479177, member: 1550"] You have very complicated sons and unfortunately it is going to be kind of hard to sort out what is going on with them. They are a bit like kids who adopted at older ages because they have been through a few men and there are also mental health issues on the genetic family tree. I am betting that Biological Father also has some mental health problems in his family tree. NeuroPsychs are in my opinion the best diagnosticians available as they actually do testing. However, if I were you, I would Google up "Attachment Disorder" and see if you think any of those symptoms fit as part of the big picture. When young children have multiple caregivers they can grow to have less-than-adequate attachments to their caregivers. It is possible that to them husband is just another man and nobody they need to care for or listen to. This isn't because he's not a GREAT guy...he probably is...it is a self-preservation that kids form when they do not have a consistent parent in their lives. The fact that hub #2 was an abusive jerk probably did not help them think well of men either. These kids could have childhood mood disorders, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), a hodge-podge of problems all together but in my opinion it is probably more than ADHD/ODD. ODD in of itself is not in my opinion a very useful diagnosis as it means "child is defiant." Ok, well, we know that. WHY? A neuropsychologist can help you find out why. Neuropsychs can be found at university and children's hospitals. Because they are popular to visit, there can be long waiting lists, but they are worth it! While you are waiting, I strongly suggest family therapy so that all of you can talk and be on the same page. I am really sorry you are having such a hard time, and I hope you find the answers soon and get the right kind of help for you little ones and for yourself and husband. Keep us posted :) [/QUOTE]
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