I come to this board to confirm that it's not just me

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by STRESSEDTOMAX, Jan 17, 2013.

  1. STRESSEDTOMAX

    STRESSEDTOMAX Member

    ODD is kicking my ass right now. I'm trying to keep on keeping on but it is extremely difficult. If I didn't come to this forum, I would be NUTS!! difficult child missed four days of school last week, went yesterday, and won't go again today. He refuses to do any schoolwork. Today I said to myself: This is crazy. We as parents (meaning me and husband) have to have SOME control here or I don't know how we can go on functioning as a family. So...I went downstairs, sat him down, and told him that there has to be some rules here. I told him he could see his friend this afternoon only if he did a SMALL amount of work and that I would sit and help him. All I wanted him to do was a little English and a few minutes reading. Went into a moderate meltdown. Then...it turned into an issue of not wanting to take a shower and I refuse to compromise on that because of his bathroom habits. The meltdown lasted about an hour and wound up with him on the carpet laughing hysterically. When I asked him what he was laughing about, he said he didn't know. He then took shower. No work has been done.

    I had a meeting at school yesterday and as long as I can get a note from psychiatrist, I may be able to get homebound services. Or I'm going to have to homeschool. I doubt I have to tell anyone on this forum how I feel about THAT...lol. But then again, he would still have to agree to do work. It is amazing what is going on here...He is running the house and I feel like there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I have an appointment with his new therapist tomorrow for intake and then he is seeing her Monday. All I want right now is some peace but I also am sick of feeling like a parent who can't control their kid. I KNOW that at the root of this is STILL the idea that this is in my control, which blows my mind since this has been going on for 9 years.

    I must be better than yesterday, because usually I can't put more than two words together on here. It's just so overwhelming.
     
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Nope. Sorry.
    THAT statement doesn't cut it with me.

    {{hugs}} for the "nine years" ... we took 11.

    First, take every sanity-saver you can get your hands on... including this board.
    And then... oh, yes, I'm sending you my latest rhino skin (don't need it right now, crossing fingers....) and a new suit of armour.
    Because...

    The problem is that the SYSTEM doesn't see the problem.
    School. Medical. ALL OF IT.
    And until they do...
    WE go insane.

    Bring up that whole "laughter" picture with therapist AND psychiatrist.
    He doesn't even know why he is laughing?
    That should be a red flag right there.
     
  3. STRESSEDTOMAX

    STRESSEDTOMAX Member

    Hi IC - I will definitely bring it up. Got that book from library today. Thanks.
     
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm thinking it was stress laughter. You know, when you're overexcited, overstimulated, that sort of thing.
    But definitely talk to the psychiatrist about it.
    Also, please don't homeschool. There's GOT to be another way. I value your sanity, even if you don't. ;)
     
  5. IT1967

    IT1967 Member

    I hear you. The ODD is brutal. Both my kids have it. I truly feel like we'd all be in such a better place if that &*)(^*%^ ODD weren't in the picture. I ask myself all the time ***WHY*** did this happen to me? Sending peaceful vibes your way.
     
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Homebound services would buy you time... it won't solve the problem. Probably worth buying time... at least it means his "truancy" doesn't look bad for YOU.

    Somehow, you have to figure out WHY he is refusing school.
    It probably isn't just one issue, either.
     
  7. STRESSEDTOMAX

    STRESSEDTOMAX Member

    Terry - I think it was from stress too, actually. It was just weird how it went from anger to laughing so fast. But he does have a nervous smile on his face sometimes when I'm yelling at him.

    IT - I hate to say "Misery Loves Company"...but it does...lol. Hope things are good with you today...:)

    IC - I know you've seen my update on other posts about him going today. A lot of times I don't even know if he knows why he doesn't want to go.
     
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I had to laugh at your Title - I do the same thing! LOL!

    I wish I had some real advice for you....but sadly, these kids DO "run the house" in a sense - after all, they are the ONLY ones who cannot seem to change, compromise, or budge in any way....
     
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Are you keeping a journal? updating it every single day?
    It's the only way you will see patterns.
    If (big if) you have teachers who will work with you, can they keep a log too?
     
  10. IT1967

    IT1967 Member

    IF the teacher wouldn't keep a journal, which honestly, I think is asking a lot, what I do is send her emails every few days checking in and asking for updates on how difficult child 1 is doing. She's been really great about responding and giving me a good picture. It just takes a minute for her to dash off a brief response. Then I print the emails out and take them to the doctors. with me.
     
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    We had several good teachers who, if given a "therapist log form", will consent to keeping records for 3-4 weeks. Long enough to get some patterns recorded... but it only works if they actually care enough to be detailed.
     
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