Yea for me. Right after I posted about needing thick skin, my difficult child came home. He had been at a friend's house. This one is kind of my fault, because I know how he "looses" things, or forgets where he puts them, and so on. But, I let him take my cell phone with him. His grandad picked him up and I told him to be sure and have him bring the cell phone back. Well, they came in and my husband was livid because difficult child didn't know where the cell phone was. I thought okay, okay, it's only a phone, let's see how we can handle this. I told him it was okay, that I sometimes lost it in my purse. I asked him if he remembered where he had it last and the attitude and self defense came up and he started firing away at me. I asked him if he would call his friend and have him go look out back, which is were he finally THOUGHT it was. They were out in a field and he thought he laid it on the ground. No, he wasn't going to call him. If I wanted the phone, I could call him. He didn't like my stupid old cell phone anyway. He didn't care if he ever used it again, and if it was lost, then I couldn't use it either. So I calmly said while biting my tongue that it was okay, if we couldn't find it, I had insurance on it and we could get it replaced. I got a bit of silence and a strange stare from him and I told him if he didn't feel like calling his friend that I would go ahead and call him. So I dialed his number and was talking to him and he grabbed the phone from me and said I was a dumb*** and to stupid to talk to his friend, that I would get it all mixed up and he would take care of it. I simply said okay. He told me it was my fault that he had lost the phone (whatever sense that makes) and that he didn't like it anyway because it was black and didn't take good pictures!!. That's a good one. He helped pick it out!! Any way, I just let it slide. So I told him I was going to drive over to his friend's and go out in his back yard and find the phone and while I was gone, I had made spaghetti and dad would warm some up for him and then he would be ready to take his bath by the time I got back. He looked at me strangly and said, oh, you'll have dad fix me dinner but you wont' because you are to worried about your phone. I told him no, I knew he must be hungry (could have really cared less if he ate or not at that point) and I also needed to get the phone before it got to late, so I thought maybe dad could warm his dinner for him and give him his medicine and then he would be ready for his bath by the time I got back. He said "don't count on me taking my medicine cause I'm not". Instead of ranting and raving about how he needs to take his medicine and how important it is, I just said okay, we'll deal with that later and turned and walked out. He kept saying mom, mom, (he was wanting me to argue with him) and I said I love you and I'll be back in a minute. I turned around and looked at him and he almost looked shocked. He was ACTUALLY SPEECHLESS!!!!!!! When I got home, I went into his room and asked him if he had eaten and he said no, would you warm me up some and I told him yes. He kept staring at me. I never mentioned the phone again. He was actually nice to me. He said thank you when I warmed his meal up. It was a win-win. I didn't argue, didn't let his mean comments get to me, or at least show it, and I won, I got my phone back!!! I beat him at his own game!!!!! He didn't get an argument and make me break down in tears. It's a good day!!