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<blockquote data-quote="Mom2oddson" data-source="post: 395168" data-attributes="member: 65"><p>I had a hard time understanding my difficult child's choices too. He couch surfed for 3 years. I know a lot of it had to do with the drugs/alcohol but I also wonder if part of it wasn't his ODD. Doing anything that I might like, approve of, or want was something he couldn't do. He always had a need to do the oppposite of what I wanted even if it meant hurting himself. </p><p></p><p>It was the hardest thing to sit back and let him live his life. And it took a lot of practice to say NOTHING when he stopped by. It was "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that" when he had a complaint without adding any thought or opinion. Or the "Oh, that's nice" even when what he was bragging about wasn't so nice. But by stepping back and not doing anything constructive but listening, it seemed to help him hit his bottom. We'll see what happens from here. </p><p></p><p>I know with my past, I made stupid choices and none of it was thought out. A lot of it had to do with my own lack of self-worth and thinking I didn't deserve better. And the other part was a total lack of self-responsibility. I didn't have a clue how to do anything to take care of me. So I flipped, flopped and figured it out the hard way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mom2oddson, post: 395168, member: 65"] I had a hard time understanding my difficult child's choices too. He couch surfed for 3 years. I know a lot of it had to do with the drugs/alcohol but I also wonder if part of it wasn't his ODD. Doing anything that I might like, approve of, or want was something he couldn't do. He always had a need to do the oppposite of what I wanted even if it meant hurting himself. It was the hardest thing to sit back and let him live his life. And it took a lot of practice to say NOTHING when he stopped by. It was "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that" when he had a complaint without adding any thought or opinion. Or the "Oh, that's nice" even when what he was bragging about wasn't so nice. But by stepping back and not doing anything constructive but listening, it seemed to help him hit his bottom. We'll see what happens from here. I know with my past, I made stupid choices and none of it was thought out. A lot of it had to do with my own lack of self-worth and thinking I didn't deserve better. And the other part was a total lack of self-responsibility. I didn't have a clue how to do anything to take care of me. So I flipped, flopped and figured it out the hard way. [/QUOTE]
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