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<blockquote data-quote="Estherfromjerusalem" data-source="post: 312124" data-attributes="member: 77"><p>KTMom, I hear you, I hear you so well.</p><p></p><p>Although unlike you, I am more an "earthmother" type, I always wanted a large family with a lot of children. But so often (although I feel guilty even thinking this, let alone typing it on the computer), I think to myself: "Why didn't I stop before that last child?" Yes, I often imagine my life, the life of my whole family, without difficult child, and I think life would have been better without him. Even last week, when we made a sort of pre-wedding party here in our home in order to meet the "other side" and we were about 70 people here, towards the end difficult child got drunk and started a fist fight with his older brother (39), and one of my sons-in-law separated them and he got badly hit in the process! He always spoils everything, and I am dreading what will happen at easy child's wedding (Nov. 1).</p><p></p><p>He also finds it very hard to communicate "normally" with his father, and also, like your difficult child, doesn't realise at all that he is responsible for the tension (although I must admit my husband also plays his part!).</p><p></p><p>My only ray of light and hope is that as time goes on, he will leave home. He is already 23, and he does work at the moment, and I just pray the time comes VERY SOON for him to leave. I will not throw him out unless things become really extreme. After the wedding he will be the only one living at home, and we will have to wait and see the dynamics that develop then in our home. I am so tired already, don't have the same strength I had 5 or 10 or 15 years ago. I am now 64, and would appreciate a few quiet years BEFORE I am ancient and too old to enjoy them.</p><p></p><p>You are most definitely not alone.</p><p></p><p>Love, Esther</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Estherfromjerusalem, post: 312124, member: 77"] KTMom, I hear you, I hear you so well. Although unlike you, I am more an "earthmother" type, I always wanted a large family with a lot of children. But so often (although I feel guilty even thinking this, let alone typing it on the computer), I think to myself: "Why didn't I stop before that last child?" Yes, I often imagine my life, the life of my whole family, without difficult child, and I think life would have been better without him. Even last week, when we made a sort of pre-wedding party here in our home in order to meet the "other side" and we were about 70 people here, towards the end difficult child got drunk and started a fist fight with his older brother (39), and one of my sons-in-law separated them and he got badly hit in the process! He always spoils everything, and I am dreading what will happen at easy child's wedding (Nov. 1). He also finds it very hard to communicate "normally" with his father, and also, like your difficult child, doesn't realise at all that he is responsible for the tension (although I must admit my husband also plays his part!). My only ray of light and hope is that as time goes on, he will leave home. He is already 23, and he does work at the moment, and I just pray the time comes VERY SOON for him to leave. I will not throw him out unless things become really extreme. After the wedding he will be the only one living at home, and we will have to wait and see the dynamics that develop then in our home. I am so tired already, don't have the same strength I had 5 or 10 or 15 years ago. I am now 64, and would appreciate a few quiet years BEFORE I am ancient and too old to enjoy them. You are most definitely not alone. Love, Esther [/QUOTE]
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