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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 312283" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I agree that you need to see a doctor. Most everything is a little more tolerable if you don't feel awful. Not that everything should be tolerated.</p><p></p><p>Ms KT is an adult. I know she lived with her gma for a while. OR I think she did. What is she getting out of living with you now? Esp if gma is firmly on her side?</p><p></p><p>Our kids are HARD. To live with, to understand, to help and to tolerate. Sometimes even to love. It stinks. I wish I had a magic formula to handle things.</p><p></p><p>Your hubby sounds like a great guy in many ways. She might have hated anyone who came into your life. WHo knows?</p><p></p><p>As an adult, and even though she is "still" in school she IS an adult, the rules are different. Children can get away with rudeness and petulance and horrible behavior. Adults find themselves with few options when they act that way.</p><p></p><p>You need to get healthier and then sit and think about what you want with regards to Miss KT. About what you can expect realistically. About how you do/will feel about yourself if you continue to tolerate this behavior.</p><p></p><p>Then it is time to have an honest and open chat with your husband about all those same things from his perspective. You might get some benefit from having a counselor help with this discussion. It depends on your relationship.</p><p></p><p>Once you and husband are on the same page you can form some limits. What she has to do if she continues to live there. What financial support you will give her if she leaves to go to gma or if she leaves to go to a friend/boyfriend. </p><p></p><p>You cannot really change her behavior. All you can do is change where she does these behaviors. And how much support you choose to give her if she chooses to keep these behaviors.</p><p></p><p>Just remember, you cannot control gma either. You can refuse to discuss it with her, or to let her be disrespectful to you or pressure you. SHE has to make her own decisions with respect to Miss KT also. </p><p></p><p>I hope that you can find some peace in your home someday soon.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 312283, member: 1233"] I agree that you need to see a doctor. Most everything is a little more tolerable if you don't feel awful. Not that everything should be tolerated. Ms KT is an adult. I know she lived with her gma for a while. OR I think she did. What is she getting out of living with you now? Esp if gma is firmly on her side? Our kids are HARD. To live with, to understand, to help and to tolerate. Sometimes even to love. It stinks. I wish I had a magic formula to handle things. Your hubby sounds like a great guy in many ways. She might have hated anyone who came into your life. WHo knows? As an adult, and even though she is "still" in school she IS an adult, the rules are different. Children can get away with rudeness and petulance and horrible behavior. Adults find themselves with few options when they act that way. You need to get healthier and then sit and think about what you want with regards to Miss KT. About what you can expect realistically. About how you do/will feel about yourself if you continue to tolerate this behavior. Then it is time to have an honest and open chat with your husband about all those same things from his perspective. You might get some benefit from having a counselor help with this discussion. It depends on your relationship. Once you and husband are on the same page you can form some limits. What she has to do if she continues to live there. What financial support you will give her if she leaves to go to gma or if she leaves to go to a friend/boyfriend. You cannot really change her behavior. All you can do is change where she does these behaviors. And how much support you choose to give her if she chooses to keep these behaviors. Just remember, you cannot control gma either. You can refuse to discuss it with her, or to let her be disrespectful to you or pressure you. SHE has to make her own decisions with respect to Miss KT also. I hope that you can find some peace in your home someday soon. [/QUOTE]
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