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I don't know what to do....
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 268459" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Oh, wow, to say he never loved you, and then say he was joking ... no way to take that back.</p><p> </p><p>Actions speak louder than words, and his actions have been saying he hasn't loved you and your family for years. The words just validated it.</p><p> </p><p>Definitely, go to counseling. I got a referral from a friend whose marriage was in crisis. The child psychiatric was referred by a teacher. And, of course, you can try your church. In fact, since that's free, you could start there for sure.</p><p> </p><p>If you think your husband really wants to leave, you have to decide if you want the house--if you can afford it--and can negotiate with-your husband--or if you just want a safe place, right now, like a women's shelter. There are places that will take kids, too. (I donated curtains to a place not far from my own house.) </p><p>I don't know what you could do with-the dogs. Do you have friends with-dogs who can keep yours for a while?</p><p> </p><p>If you decide to leave, rather than have your husband leave, don't threaten your husband that you are leaving. Just make plans quietly and go your own way. If you threaten him, you know it will escalate.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't have much in the way of communication skills, does he?</p><p> </p><p>I am so glad your 17-yr-old is safe. Could you call her cell ph or pick her up at school one day and have a chat with-her? Go out for coffee? Sounds like she should stay out, for everyone's benefit.</p><p> </p><p>As for the younger one, he will have to stay with-you. Maybe he could talk to the clergy counselor, too. I'm sure he has a lot of anger and fear pent up.</p><p> </p><p>I am so sorry for your long-term losses and your current crisis.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 268459, member: 3419"] Oh, wow, to say he never loved you, and then say he was joking ... no way to take that back. Actions speak louder than words, and his actions have been saying he hasn't loved you and your family for years. The words just validated it. Definitely, go to counseling. I got a referral from a friend whose marriage was in crisis. The child psychiatric was referred by a teacher. And, of course, you can try your church. In fact, since that's free, you could start there for sure. If you think your husband really wants to leave, you have to decide if you want the house--if you can afford it--and can negotiate with-your husband--or if you just want a safe place, right now, like a women's shelter. There are places that will take kids, too. (I donated curtains to a place not far from my own house.) I don't know what you could do with-the dogs. Do you have friends with-dogs who can keep yours for a while? If you decide to leave, rather than have your husband leave, don't threaten your husband that you are leaving. Just make plans quietly and go your own way. If you threaten him, you know it will escalate. He doesn't have much in the way of communication skills, does he? I am so glad your 17-yr-old is safe. Could you call her cell ph or pick her up at school one day and have a chat with-her? Go out for coffee? Sounds like she should stay out, for everyone's benefit. As for the younger one, he will have to stay with-you. Maybe he could talk to the clergy counselor, too. I'm sure he has a lot of anger and fear pent up. I am so sorry for your long-term losses and your current crisis. [/QUOTE]
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