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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 219458" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>i know it's so hard with teenagers, diagnosis or no diagnosis it's just plain hard. They battle almost everything and we are the cause of all their unhappiness ive come to learn raising my own hormonally challenged at times teenager.</p><p> </p><p>we used to go thru the vicious cycle as well, she'd be ridiculously nasty name call, etc. i'd take something away to punish, give it back and it would start again. </p><p> </p><p>until one day i said to myself ok wow this is soo not good. I'm not going to make it until she's out someday emotionally i was taking such a hit, very different than with difficult child because she could use her own level of control bigtime, she just chose not to.</p><p> </p><p>so, a few years ago i had had enough of the slamming doors, etc. coming and attacking me verbally. I stripped her room down, i took the door off the hinges, i took everythinig out of her room except her bed at that point. I made a contract up with her, she ofcourse laughed at it and thought it was a joke, i said i dont' care i'm not going to live like this anymore i'm a human being and deserve some level of respect for fact i'm your mother. she had to earn everything back, and wow was it slowly as well as friends and phone usage at home i totally cut her off. welll, long story short it worked. i was so relieved. a friend had turned me towards the tough love approach i used some of what they suggested.</p><p> </p><p>since we've had our issues it is so not without conflict, she still kicks up on occassion, was suspended actually last mos for mouthing off to a teacher, yet now we communicate and it's not easy its so hard some days i too have to practice listening to her instead of reacting to her all the time.</p><p> </p><p>have you ever read those books??? just another endless thought of mine lol</p><p> </p><p>oh another thought and this is if you arent' qualified as you said to get any type of services is there are places, almost placements that are often even out of state, alot are expensive yet some are funded and some are even off what the parents income is. they tend to be geared towards difficult teenagers with and without diagnosis's. some are wilderness programs, etc. gets them out of the house in a controlled and supervised environment, gives you a reprive and from what i've read sometimes it actually works.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 219458, member: 4514"] i know it's so hard with teenagers, diagnosis or no diagnosis it's just plain hard. They battle almost everything and we are the cause of all their unhappiness ive come to learn raising my own hormonally challenged at times teenager. we used to go thru the vicious cycle as well, she'd be ridiculously nasty name call, etc. i'd take something away to punish, give it back and it would start again. until one day i said to myself ok wow this is soo not good. I'm not going to make it until she's out someday emotionally i was taking such a hit, very different than with difficult child because she could use her own level of control bigtime, she just chose not to. so, a few years ago i had had enough of the slamming doors, etc. coming and attacking me verbally. I stripped her room down, i took the door off the hinges, i took everythinig out of her room except her bed at that point. I made a contract up with her, she ofcourse laughed at it and thought it was a joke, i said i dont' care i'm not going to live like this anymore i'm a human being and deserve some level of respect for fact i'm your mother. she had to earn everything back, and wow was it slowly as well as friends and phone usage at home i totally cut her off. welll, long story short it worked. i was so relieved. a friend had turned me towards the tough love approach i used some of what they suggested. since we've had our issues it is so not without conflict, she still kicks up on occassion, was suspended actually last mos for mouthing off to a teacher, yet now we communicate and it's not easy its so hard some days i too have to practice listening to her instead of reacting to her all the time. have you ever read those books??? just another endless thought of mine lol oh another thought and this is if you arent' qualified as you said to get any type of services is there are places, almost placements that are often even out of state, alot are expensive yet some are funded and some are even off what the parents income is. they tend to be geared towards difficult teenagers with and without diagnosis's. some are wilderness programs, etc. gets them out of the house in a controlled and supervised environment, gives you a reprive and from what i've read sometimes it actually works. [/QUOTE]
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