I dont want to send q to school tomorrow, i am in a whiney mood sorry

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Dec 11, 2011.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    One more week until our "monthly IEP meeting" with the principal in charge. It is so overwhelming after last friday and with his not being right yet. Is it possible for lithium to cause bi-polar symptoms? It is like he is doing ok, I mean really ok, and then gets an idea in his head and falls apart if it does not happen--no frustration tolerance at all and today he broke down in tears over it all. I mean he wanted a freaking Santa hat. IT is so obsessive. At school he fell apart over where he eats his snack. He has this high pitched scream and whine to go with it. He started banging his own head with his hand and on the door frame, over and over and I am trying to ignore it. He says his hand is going numb when he does it. He is absolutely doing it to get my attention (I think it got attention at the hospital) but he is also doing it alone in his room. I dont think it is attention for attention's sake, it is more communication attention.... telling me he is that upset. If I was him, I'd be desperate too. He can't play with any other kids at all after being with friends all summer. It is terribly lonely. I can't have anyone over and cant let him out becasue when I try he refuses to come in and starts swearing and making a scene in front of all the neighbors. Just can't risk it. At school all the kids follow the cue of a few and treat him like you know what... plus they admitted to me that the teachers are always mad at him. So he just bugs the cr*p out of them because he feels so left out and at least it is an interaction. He says he feels so frustrated and lonely because everyone ignores him or says mean things. I was in the library and the boy who started bullying Q in 3rd grade started whispering in fron to f me with his eyes staring at me, I smiled and stared back and he stopped (realizing he was busted) and said, I know who you are (well yeah, we have talked for 5 years several tiems a week, so autistic....lol, and I wanted to say if you ever tell my son again that he is not wanted and is unloved by his mother I will wait after school and get you...LOL but of course that is totally the opposite of who I am. FUnny how the momma bear can come out when you feel your kid is being wronged. Q is not pleasant to be around but so much is triggered and pushed by this and one other kid, as well as all the "behavior" tightening they did this year. I decided to count the number of kids who ran to lunch past me....17! But not one had to go sit in a little room to eat.

    All of this is so different and I dread the thought of going off or increasing anything medication wise. It would mean so much risk for other things to go wrong. I am anxious to go to Courage Center so we can see if they have any ideas. I actually was going thru their website carefully and they have behavior analysis and programs for brain injury and autism and will work in the schools. I wonder if that is true or not...some things sound good until you actually check it out and the people involved are traditional behavior mod folks. That would never do. I will ask though. Maybe we need half days. ugggg it is tooooo much! just too much. . I just hate all of this.

    I was talking to Malika about it today and it just gets overwhelming. I wish we were back on summer break. I am so glad winter break is soon. He has been switched from school to school and He wants to "graduate" with the other kids. I feel like he should be allowed to do it at least one time. But if it is going to get worse??? I know we have only just begun with the lawyer and independent fba request as well as the audiologist.

    The teacher admitted that she was having trouble getting "others" to see her perspective. That makes me so angry and I know it is the psycho psychiatric as well as the principal.

    Well, this is my job so I have to suck it up. All done whining. I will just monitor him today and call him in sick if he is too blurty. Just not worth it. I will also call the doctor and ask about whether or not too low or high a dose on this medication can cause these mood swings that are not normally a part of him. He has bad days/good days and the bad days are related to health or a stressor....really easy to figure out and to distract him out of. This is different. It is his mood. He was not like this off the Lithium. HE is so obsessed with food that he names restaurants incessantly when hungry until he gets food. I am thinking of buying boost or some kind of lower calorie energy powder to add to milk. What else is filling but not high calorie? He eats carrots and apples and grapes and oranges and pbj etc.

    ok I will stop. Q wants to go to the grocery store, we need to so I will....this should be fun. I made him eat first, lol.
     
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Ya know- it's ok, as far as I'm concerned, to keep a young child home occasionally....for a Mommy mental health day. LOL!
     
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    And except for the hospital thing, where he still went to school, he NEVER misses school. I will monitor both of our moods and think about it.
     
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Given the tone at the school, you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you don't send him to school, it's proof there's something "wrong" and if you do send him and something happens something is "wrong". I am soooo glad I don't have to deal with that s*** anymore. Any chance you can get one of the docs to order him homebound until the medication situation is ironed out? That way, they still have to teach him but they have to accomodate HIM. Just a thought so you could maybe have the best of both worlds for a little while until things are figured out. There are just so many changes going on with him medically (including MEDically) that it might be a good solution for now. Just a thought.

    TRUST YOUR MOMMY GUT!!
     
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I have thought of homebound..... I have thought of you guys finding out we have killed eachother too, lol. No, really I have thought of it but more as an accomodation but the way to handle it better would be your way then they could not say it is what he needs period....rather that this is a kid who is not well and needs change for now. Q is begging to go to school. I think maybe I will give it a day and if he can't handle it, then I will ask the doctor. she had talked about his being in her partial program to change a medication during winter break.... they have a low census at that time. could be interesting to see if he can handle any programs like that at that time. I think I will call her tomorrow.

    Thanks
     
  6. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Sounds like a plan. The day is coming where he will hate going to school if things keep getting progressively worse. But then again, he seems oblivious to what is going on now and it is "the routine". Yea, I get it but it might be a necessity until you can get him back on an even keel. Something "ain't workin".
     
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    For sure. I think he clearly knows something is wrong, he is not happy and has said he is frustrated and lonely there. BUT he also said just again tonight he wants to finish 8th grade, get a yearbook, have people sign it etc. His definition of friends has never been the same as typical teen's of course so he likes his people regardless.
     
  8. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    He can still finish 8th grade AND get a yearbook AND have people sign it. This is only TEMPORARY. Do you think he'd understand that?
     
  9. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Hugs to both of you. I wish their was a good option but unless several lightening strikes happen to the school people I don't see it.
     
  10. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    As TeDo said, you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. It makes sense that Q wants finally to graduate and do the things that everyone else does, and it is perhaps important for him that he gets to do that instead of changing schools again before he can. Perhaps important just to have the experience of completion, of going through to the end. At the same time, the daily reality sounds pretty unbearable at the moment. The Courage Center place looks interesting on the face of it but obviously you need to delve deeper. Maybe you can tough it out until the end of the year, knowing that it is the end and that you are doing all you can to find a good alternative for after. Something practically oriented that would help Q with practical and life skills seems, from the outside, to be the best option? But you obviously are in the position to judge all that.
    Hugs. It really must feel lonely sometimes for you, as well as Q, having to face all this misunderstanding and calumny...
     
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    TeDo, I think if he leaves, they will roadblock any attempt to try to go back.

    Malika, I didn't think it was lonely but when I read your post I started to get very very choked up and cry so I guess you hit a nerve.

    Liahona, LOL, now there is a plan! As good as any I have so far. Well, that is catastrophizing...I guess truth is I do have a plan, just we haven't seen it come thru yet because the wheels turn slowly.
     
  12. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Once I worked at a sever sp ed school. I left there to get my sp ed degree. After I left there was a girl there that the parents wanted in a regular school. It was very ugly with lawyers and hurt feelings on all sides. The parents won and she was sent to the other school. The problem was the regular school did not want her. No one from the admin, Speech Language Pathologist (SLP), sp ed teachers, ect...

    The sp ed school re-hired me to be an aide for this girl. So I was her advocate with the regular school. The parents never knew the school they didn't want did this for their daughter as I was not allowed to talk to the parents. It was a very lonely time for me but after a few months the regular school personal thawed out and accepted her.

    I think Q needs an aide like that now. Just a witness whose loyalty isn't to admin; who can't be fired by admin will stop a lot of the ugliness Q is subjected to. It can't be you.
     
  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    by the way, Q did everything in his might to be able to go to school today. He told me they said on Friday that they will be excited to see him on Monday and he didn't want to disappoint them (he is so gullable). So, of course I let him go. so far, no calls. Hope it continues.
     
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well that''s good news!
     
  15. buddy

    buddy New Member

    update: Well, didn't get any phone calls from school...and other than the response re: the "plan" I got no other emails. Partly I worry that she hasnt figured out what to day yet....not being unrealistic. Sometimes I hear from her very late in the day to say well he started out good...... but I am still gonna hope. He is out with Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) now for a couple of hours then back to me, smile.
     
  16. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well this board auntie would like to send him a hug, a pat on the back, and an "atta boy" for today! I hope you got to relax a bit.
     
  17. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Thanks! Well, that is probably why I really wanted him home, I have a hard time doing much because I keep thinking of the phone calling. I get ready early and am all ready to run out if needed. Really need to find a cheap yoga class or something. Maybe I can find a cd for it. Not the same though, I do better if I get out.
     
  18. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Yeah, you need to take care of yourself. Living on eggshells waiting for the other shoe to drop on a daily basis will take it's toll on you in long-term ways- as many warrior moms here can tell you. Just because you still have the energy and willingness to do this doesn't mean it isn't having leng lasting effects on you mentally and physically. Try to find some 'me-time' on a regular bbasis and make it a necessity in your life.
     
  19. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Buddy, I had kt home for 3 months after husband died. There was no way I could get her out of the house & there were no beds on the psychiatric ward to stabilize her. Saying that, I worked closely with school district & our psychiatrist wrote a medical excuse for kt's absence.

    If you go homebound, make sure the charter school understands IEPs & the like. Many do not.
     
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