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I finally kicked my unstable 20 yr old son out of my house
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 619334" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>OOf...I can feel the crushing disappointment and guilt (about your parents) that this must bring on. And anger/irritation at your son. I can almost taste it in my own mouth. YOu thought you had reached a critical point, and he did something unexpected, and pulled your (rather sweet sounding) parents in.</p><p> </p><p>So here is the thing...you DID reach a critical point. You reached YOUR OWN critical point, which is the only one you can control. YOu did GREAT!!!!! You built up to it, you saw it, you considered all your history and all your options, you listened with a loving mommy heart, and you DID THE RIGHT THING!! You saw that in your little one's face. YOu felt it in your own heart. You were right, and you still are. </p><p>Your parents will have to do what they have to do. I"m not surprised they felt they had to take him in. I'm sure you are right they will tend to him for a bit. Maybe he'll get better, in a different setting, after the shock/reality check of being asked to leave your house. Maybe he won't. </p><p></p><p>But you are still on the right track. As MWM said, you are helpless to change the situation. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your mom....be very very ver ycareful not to let her genuine love and distress for yo uand for your son draw you back in. SHe is making her own choices now, and she knows the story. I'll bet she'll handle things OK.</p><p></p><p>My sweet loving sister, who is a major enabler and a burden-taker (not to say martyr) has always been a sanctuary for my difficult child. Forutnatley she lives several states away, so he can't get there. She used to try to serve as a go between..I finally told her that she can do what she wants about contact with him, but she must leave me out of it. For my own sanity I do not want to hear details, or even know that they talked. I do not want another suggestion about what I can do or how I can handle things, or how I can help him. She's been good about it, but honestly it has truncated our relationship...I don't call her or skype her anymore because of the Elephant In The Room. I hope that will pass, like I hope a lot of things will pass. I guess I share that part because YOU HAVE TAKEN A BIG STEP towards getting your own life and your little one's life back on track. YOur parents, as well intentioned as they are, may feel the need to update you, make suggestions, share enlightening details (I hate that) and overall keep you stuck in the mud. Try to avoid that. Tell them you need a vacation from hearing about him. Let them know how despeartely ill he was making you. YOu need some time to heal and get stronger before you can hear about him again.</p><p>Good luck to you. Keep posting. You have been very strong. We are here for you. </p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 619334, member: 17269"] OOf...I can feel the crushing disappointment and guilt (about your parents) that this must bring on. And anger/irritation at your son. I can almost taste it in my own mouth. YOu thought you had reached a critical point, and he did something unexpected, and pulled your (rather sweet sounding) parents in. So here is the thing...you DID reach a critical point. You reached YOUR OWN critical point, which is the only one you can control. YOu did GREAT!!!!! You built up to it, you saw it, you considered all your history and all your options, you listened with a loving mommy heart, and you DID THE RIGHT THING!! You saw that in your little one's face. YOu felt it in your own heart. You were right, and you still are. Your parents will have to do what they have to do. I"m not surprised they felt they had to take him in. I'm sure you are right they will tend to him for a bit. Maybe he'll get better, in a different setting, after the shock/reality check of being asked to leave your house. Maybe he won't. But you are still on the right track. As MWM said, you are helpless to change the situation. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your mom....be very very ver ycareful not to let her genuine love and distress for yo uand for your son draw you back in. SHe is making her own choices now, and she knows the story. I'll bet she'll handle things OK. My sweet loving sister, who is a major enabler and a burden-taker (not to say martyr) has always been a sanctuary for my difficult child. Forutnatley she lives several states away, so he can't get there. She used to try to serve as a go between..I finally told her that she can do what she wants about contact with him, but she must leave me out of it. For my own sanity I do not want to hear details, or even know that they talked. I do not want another suggestion about what I can do or how I can handle things, or how I can help him. She's been good about it, but honestly it has truncated our relationship...I don't call her or skype her anymore because of the Elephant In The Room. I hope that will pass, like I hope a lot of things will pass. I guess I share that part because YOU HAVE TAKEN A BIG STEP towards getting your own life and your little one's life back on track. YOur parents, as well intentioned as they are, may feel the need to update you, make suggestions, share enlightening details (I hate that) and overall keep you stuck in the mud. Try to avoid that. Tell them you need a vacation from hearing about him. Let them know how despeartely ill he was making you. YOu need some time to heal and get stronger before you can hear about him again. Good luck to you. Keep posting. You have been very strong. We are here for you. Hugs, Echo [/QUOTE]
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I finally kicked my unstable 20 yr old son out of my house
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