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Parent Emeritus
I give up. It hurts too much to hope.
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 661859" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I'm so sorry you are hurting so badly, Copa.</p><p>When our Difficult Child first moved out on her own, the first few years were insane. As I just posted on a diff. thread: mental illness + impulsivity + mood swings = poor decisions/big problems. I was constantly worried about her safety. And she had some very rough years. Lived in some very rough neighborhoods. And not too long ago, she was assaulted in public and this, in part, was due to her decision to associate with someone who had actually hurt her once before. I see your situation with your son is extreme. When things were very bad with our Difficult Child, I visited a therapist and she in a frightened little voice told me that I would have to accept that something could happen to my Difficult Child. I was flabbergasted. I thought parents did everything under the sun to keep that for happening and it wasn't something you just "accept." But, I've come to understand that there is only so much I can do for my adult Difficult Child. I have wasted my time and energy being angry at my Higher Power for allowing this unthinkable, illogical thing to even happen. I've even expected an explanation and none has been forthcoming. It is humbling to the extreme. And like I said before, it brought me to my knees. I do what I can for my adult Difficult Child and leave the rest to my Higher Power and accept what I don't wish to accept. It is what it is. And since my health is somewhat fragile, I understand that I can not do what should not be done...and that is the impossible. On the positive side, in certain ways, our Difficult Child has shown some improvement in recent years.</p><p>I hope you can be assigned as designated payee. I also hope you can release this extreme painful anxiety. Blessings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 661859, member: 4152"] I'm so sorry you are hurting so badly, Copa. When our Difficult Child first moved out on her own, the first few years were insane. As I just posted on a diff. thread: mental illness + impulsivity + mood swings = poor decisions/big problems. I was constantly worried about her safety. And she had some very rough years. Lived in some very rough neighborhoods. And not too long ago, she was assaulted in public and this, in part, was due to her decision to associate with someone who had actually hurt her once before. I see your situation with your son is extreme. When things were very bad with our Difficult Child, I visited a therapist and she in a frightened little voice told me that I would have to accept that something could happen to my Difficult Child. I was flabbergasted. I thought parents did everything under the sun to keep that for happening and it wasn't something you just "accept." But, I've come to understand that there is only so much I can do for my adult Difficult Child. I have wasted my time and energy being angry at my Higher Power for allowing this unthinkable, illogical thing to even happen. I've even expected an explanation and none has been forthcoming. It is humbling to the extreme. And like I said before, it brought me to my knees. I do what I can for my adult Difficult Child and leave the rest to my Higher Power and accept what I don't wish to accept. It is what it is. And since my health is somewhat fragile, I understand that I can not do what should not be done...and that is the impossible. On the positive side, in certain ways, our Difficult Child has shown some improvement in recent years. I hope you can be assigned as designated payee. I also hope you can release this extreme painful anxiety. Blessings. [/QUOTE]
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