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I guess I am that person who only shows up when I need something. Emergency again.
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<blockquote data-quote="Otto von Bismark" data-source="post: 559308" data-attributes="member: 12905"><p>Thank you all again. So far, I can say that I called back his sexual deviance program and we are trying to get back in with them. My son did so well with the doctor we were assigned. She moved away, but I think we have a shot of at least getting someone to understand where we are at, because they deal with this regularly. HOW CAN THEY GRADUATE HIM???</p><p></p><p>I also called our CARD center to get hooked in there, but I don't generally find them helpful. I don't really know why.</p><p></p><p>I called the treatment center our doctor recommended and found that they don't take our insurance; in fact, I found that our insurance has no residential treatment at all, unless it is short-term psychiatric. So, I don't even know how to deal with this. I can't even imagine that this child will survive one of those high-level criminal juvenile places. He is such a target and so unsophisticated, and so physically weak. </p><p></p><p>We have STRICT computer rules in our house. He has a phone now, but no smart phone. He bought himself an iPod touch, and an iPad from money he saved, but has had had both of them taken away because he abused the internet. It is not enough to just turn the internet off on those devices. For the past year everything has been password protected and he can't access internet on the home computer (in public place) unless I log him in, and he has to be supervised at all times while on computer. The problem is that he takes any opportunity he can to take advantage of other people who have computers. I have documented his texts with me from the day he got caught, where he volunteered what he was doing, in case I need to protect his grandfather.</p><p></p><p>I refuse to allow him to hurt someone, while I have the capability to stop something. It is horrifying to think that the only way we can get intensive treatment is by him hurting someone. Not happening on my watch. I want to scream with the paradoxical nature of it.</p><p>He also is not sophisticated. He does not even know about porn sites, believe it or not. He has never gone to a site, to my knowledge, nor has he sought out anything classified as porn. He has looked up "naked children" and "animals having sex" (on youtube), but never targeted a porn site. I know it's the beginning of terrible things, but at least he hasn't gone there yet. Once that porn stuff is in your brain, it stains you in a way that you can never make go away.</p><p></p><p>What we need is for someone to say, "Okay. I got this. Here's what you do. First....." and just give us a plan. But we don't have anyone in our life who can do that. I can't even tell how bright my son is. Some days he seems like he could make it in some sort of job someday, and some days he really seems like he is one point away from intellectual disability, like his testing indicates. I cannot access his true thinking process to know if he premeditates his activities or if he is just impulsive. How can you have all of this layered on top of each other? Animal killing, autism, borderline intellectual disability, public masturbation, a strange non-tantrum version of conduct disorder, and now pedophilia? He is only 14. It's just not fair. There. I said it once.</p><p></p><p>One other thing, he is still human, and still largely confused and disappointed with the way his life is working out. His quality of life is poor. He cannot do anything really that is not supervised by us. He has lied to us as recently as 48 hours ago, and his behavior relates to stuff he gets to do for fun. When he is screwing up, he gets reduced or no access to television or video games, which is his favorite reward. Things he can do (read, do puzzles, crafts, take walks, go out in the boat listen to music in his room or with me) he does not want to do. So he does nothing. Has no initiative to do anything except watch tv or go on computer.</p><p></p><p>He also wants to take the Catholic High School entrance exam, so he is going through a practice book, but he can't sustain anything past ten minutes. So, if his quality of life is not good, and I don't have it in me to schedule every fifteen minutes of his life around the clock, perhaps a residential place will actually help him. He seems to need extreme, therapeutic structure. I can't do that. I've been trying for 14 years, and the only thing that keeps me going when the next horrific thing comes up is, "Well, at least it's not ____________. I can handle this." We are getting to the end of the list of behaviors and I am afraid there will be nothing left.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Otto von Bismark, post: 559308, member: 12905"] Thank you all again. So far, I can say that I called back his sexual deviance program and we are trying to get back in with them. My son did so well with the doctor we were assigned. She moved away, but I think we have a shot of at least getting someone to understand where we are at, because they deal with this regularly. HOW CAN THEY GRADUATE HIM??? I also called our CARD center to get hooked in there, but I don't generally find them helpful. I don't really know why. I called the treatment center our doctor recommended and found that they don't take our insurance; in fact, I found that our insurance has no residential treatment at all, unless it is short-term psychiatric. So, I don't even know how to deal with this. I can't even imagine that this child will survive one of those high-level criminal juvenile places. He is such a target and so unsophisticated, and so physically weak. We have STRICT computer rules in our house. He has a phone now, but no smart phone. He bought himself an iPod touch, and an iPad from money he saved, but has had had both of them taken away because he abused the internet. It is not enough to just turn the internet off on those devices. For the past year everything has been password protected and he can't access internet on the home computer (in public place) unless I log him in, and he has to be supervised at all times while on computer. The problem is that he takes any opportunity he can to take advantage of other people who have computers. I have documented his texts with me from the day he got caught, where he volunteered what he was doing, in case I need to protect his grandfather. I refuse to allow him to hurt someone, while I have the capability to stop something. It is horrifying to think that the only way we can get intensive treatment is by him hurting someone. Not happening on my watch. I want to scream with the paradoxical nature of it. He also is not sophisticated. He does not even know about porn sites, believe it or not. He has never gone to a site, to my knowledge, nor has he sought out anything classified as porn. He has looked up "naked children" and "animals having sex" (on youtube), but never targeted a porn site. I know it's the beginning of terrible things, but at least he hasn't gone there yet. Once that porn stuff is in your brain, it stains you in a way that you can never make go away. What we need is for someone to say, "Okay. I got this. Here's what you do. First....." and just give us a plan. But we don't have anyone in our life who can do that. I can't even tell how bright my son is. Some days he seems like he could make it in some sort of job someday, and some days he really seems like he is one point away from intellectual disability, like his testing indicates. I cannot access his true thinking process to know if he premeditates his activities or if he is just impulsive. How can you have all of this layered on top of each other? Animal killing, autism, borderline intellectual disability, public masturbation, a strange non-tantrum version of conduct disorder, and now pedophilia? He is only 14. It's just not fair. There. I said it once. One other thing, he is still human, and still largely confused and disappointed with the way his life is working out. His quality of life is poor. He cannot do anything really that is not supervised by us. He has lied to us as recently as 48 hours ago, and his behavior relates to stuff he gets to do for fun. When he is screwing up, he gets reduced or no access to television or video games, which is his favorite reward. Things he can do (read, do puzzles, crafts, take walks, go out in the boat listen to music in his room or with me) he does not want to do. So he does nothing. Has no initiative to do anything except watch tv or go on computer. He also wants to take the Catholic High School entrance exam, so he is going through a practice book, but he can't sustain anything past ten minutes. So, if his quality of life is not good, and I don't have it in me to schedule every fifteen minutes of his life around the clock, perhaps a residential place will actually help him. He seems to need extreme, therapeutic structure. I can't do that. I've been trying for 14 years, and the only thing that keeps me going when the next horrific thing comes up is, "Well, at least it's not ____________. I can handle this." We are getting to the end of the list of behaviors and I am afraid there will be nothing left. [/QUOTE]
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