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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 16187" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Janna, take the time you need. I must admit, I've not read Allen-Matlem's thread although I keep meaning to, because I have limited energies and have to make choices. So I haven't been exposed to whatever-it-is that has set you off.</p><p></p><p>However, with all you've shared about difficult child 2, I think I can surmise... that talking about behaviour modification, with difficult child 2 in mind, is like the time I went to see my GP because I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to work full-time (stressful, high-energy job) while dragging my kids in to the work child care centre so I could also continue breastfeeding difficult child 1 at every opportunity. And the little darling would wake every three hours through the night for feeds as well. I would feed him before I went to bed, taking about an hour to get to sleep, then when I was woken to feed him two hours later I would find that I couldn't get back to sleep and would be maybe just dozing off when the baby would wake again. This would continue until sunrise when it was time to get up and drive to work. I was away from home 12 hours a day, working hard, JOGGING to the child care centre for feed times and barely surviving on two hours' sleep a night. After two weeks of this I was a walking zombie and desperate for some medical intervention and all the doctor could say was, "Have you tried drinking a glass of warm milk?"</p><p>My first reply was unprintable. The next thing I said was, "I'm way beyond warm milk. In fact I'm way beyond the double vodka stage. I need pills. Gimme!"</p><p></p><p>It's like when difficult child 1 was having trouble writing essays in Ancient History, because he simply can't determine which fragment of text has the information he desires. He can't hold more than one thought in his head at a time. Anything he has to do or learn MUST be written down, as I had repeatedly told the school. It is a really serious problem which we'd worked at for years. Intensively. Then I got a bright, chirpy call from difficult child 1's Ancient History teacher. "I know you said he has a little difficulty writing essays..." ("little difficulty"??!? Try insurmountable obstacle) "...but I've sorted it out now. He and I sat down together and I spent about half an hour explaining to him how to write an essay..."</p><p></p><p>Gee, why didn't WE think of that? And we had spent years, husband & I, losing entire weekends (all day and late into the night) trading places with each other while always one of us sat with him and works with him on essay writing and text summarising. And all we needed to do was have a pleasant half hour chat??!?</p><p></p><p>Janna, it's hard to hold on to your perspective when you're as overwhelmed as you have been. And a lot of what people write here - it's what has worked for them, or for other people we know. And if it works for some or even most, that's fabulous. But it's hard to be happy when you know there are no answers right now for YOU. And right now, that's what you need.</p><p></p><p>Honey, we're always here for you. You've also been there for a lot of us at times. Get yourself some "Janna" time, do your nails, whatever you have to do. We'll be here when you're ready.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 16187, member: 1991"] Janna, take the time you need. I must admit, I've not read Allen-Matlem's thread although I keep meaning to, because I have limited energies and have to make choices. So I haven't been exposed to whatever-it-is that has set you off. However, with all you've shared about difficult child 2, I think I can surmise... that talking about behaviour modification, with difficult child 2 in mind, is like the time I went to see my GP because I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to work full-time (stressful, high-energy job) while dragging my kids in to the work child care centre so I could also continue breastfeeding difficult child 1 at every opportunity. And the little darling would wake every three hours through the night for feeds as well. I would feed him before I went to bed, taking about an hour to get to sleep, then when I was woken to feed him two hours later I would find that I couldn't get back to sleep and would be maybe just dozing off when the baby would wake again. This would continue until sunrise when it was time to get up and drive to work. I was away from home 12 hours a day, working hard, JOGGING to the child care centre for feed times and barely surviving on two hours' sleep a night. After two weeks of this I was a walking zombie and desperate for some medical intervention and all the doctor could say was, "Have you tried drinking a glass of warm milk?" My first reply was unprintable. The next thing I said was, "I'm way beyond warm milk. In fact I'm way beyond the double vodka stage. I need pills. Gimme!" It's like when difficult child 1 was having trouble writing essays in Ancient History, because he simply can't determine which fragment of text has the information he desires. He can't hold more than one thought in his head at a time. Anything he has to do or learn MUST be written down, as I had repeatedly told the school. It is a really serious problem which we'd worked at for years. Intensively. Then I got a bright, chirpy call from difficult child 1's Ancient History teacher. "I know you said he has a little difficulty writing essays..." ("little difficulty"??!? Try insurmountable obstacle) "...but I've sorted it out now. He and I sat down together and I spent about half an hour explaining to him how to write an essay..." Gee, why didn't WE think of that? And we had spent years, husband & I, losing entire weekends (all day and late into the night) trading places with each other while always one of us sat with him and works with him on essay writing and text summarising. And all we needed to do was have a pleasant half hour chat??!? Janna, it's hard to hold on to your perspective when you're as overwhelmed as you have been. And a lot of what people write here - it's what has worked for them, or for other people we know. And if it works for some or even most, that's fabulous. But it's hard to be happy when you know there are no answers right now for YOU. And right now, that's what you need. Honey, we're always here for you. You've also been there for a lot of us at times. Get yourself some "Janna" time, do your nails, whatever you have to do. We'll be here when you're ready. Marg [/QUOTE]
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