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I hate difficult child right now...
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 570945" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Hopefully she passes drug testing. Does she have adequate housing and finances to support difficult child? If not, I would try to help her find agencies that can support her efforts to make both of those things happen. </p><p></p><p>Going together to CAS is a good idea! I forgot to mention that CAS wasn't much help initially. Obviously when a good parent wants a child out of a home they don't jump at it. My biggest concern (though far from only concern) was safety and a healthy home environment for my easy child while I tried to get difficult child and our family help. I did not let up on the CAS worker. I also worked to get difficult children therapists understanding and support on the issue. I kept insisting to CAS that easy child's safety was paramount and that I had a duty to help difficult child but also a duty to protect easy child and that as a child protection agency these concerns should be a given for them as well! I think you would be wise to do the same with your CAS contact. When they initially sort of froze me out of care for difficult child, I brought therapist in for a meeting with the CAS worker and requested CAS supervisor attend as well. I insisted that we have a written plan of action with concrete measures for difficult child behaviors that crossed into out of control and risky for easy child. It included that I would call CAS each time difficult child went beyond the pale behavior wise and also ensured that such calls would garner a home visit from the worker and include face time with difficult child. Well after several of these incidents I called a meeting again and insisted they are failing my difficult child and my easy child both and that their agency must provide services. This did the trick finally. You may have to pave the path a little as well. I would also insist that it isn't an option to not provide the weekend respite. It initially was offered. Period. If they again refuse, I would respond formally in writing requesting a written and documented response as to their reasoning for backing out of it as well as outlining your serious concerns about difficult child and the impossibility of ensuring safety of others from difficult child 24 hours a day. One must sleep, shower, take calls, cook etc. </p><p></p><p>I don't know if it is possible for you to travel a bit for a service but maybe ask about a family type evaluation program that exists. To not be specific on the board, it is in a major northern hub city that starts with the letter S. it is part of a children's mental health treatment center attached to a hospital. They have a program whereby the family stays in a "home" setting for evaluation for a number of days. I have heard helpful things about it. They also can talk with you about out of town Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s. Simply because one isn't local to you doesn't mean your difficult child may not be eligible for placement at the nearest one such as in the S city or in my city. Better on a long wait list that may not be needed once difficult children name comes up than not on one and possibly things getting worse. </p><p></p><p>I really hope you find solutions. I know how hard it can be. Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 570945, member: 4264"] Hopefully she passes drug testing. Does she have adequate housing and finances to support difficult child? If not, I would try to help her find agencies that can support her efforts to make both of those things happen. Going together to CAS is a good idea! I forgot to mention that CAS wasn't much help initially. Obviously when a good parent wants a child out of a home they don't jump at it. My biggest concern (though far from only concern) was safety and a healthy home environment for my easy child while I tried to get difficult child and our family help. I did not let up on the CAS worker. I also worked to get difficult children therapists understanding and support on the issue. I kept insisting to CAS that easy child's safety was paramount and that I had a duty to help difficult child but also a duty to protect easy child and that as a child protection agency these concerns should be a given for them as well! I think you would be wise to do the same with your CAS contact. When they initially sort of froze me out of care for difficult child, I brought therapist in for a meeting with the CAS worker and requested CAS supervisor attend as well. I insisted that we have a written plan of action with concrete measures for difficult child behaviors that crossed into out of control and risky for easy child. It included that I would call CAS each time difficult child went beyond the pale behavior wise and also ensured that such calls would garner a home visit from the worker and include face time with difficult child. Well after several of these incidents I called a meeting again and insisted they are failing my difficult child and my easy child both and that their agency must provide services. This did the trick finally. You may have to pave the path a little as well. I would also insist that it isn't an option to not provide the weekend respite. It initially was offered. Period. If they again refuse, I would respond formally in writing requesting a written and documented response as to their reasoning for backing out of it as well as outlining your serious concerns about difficult child and the impossibility of ensuring safety of others from difficult child 24 hours a day. One must sleep, shower, take calls, cook etc. I don't know if it is possible for you to travel a bit for a service but maybe ask about a family type evaluation program that exists. To not be specific on the board, it is in a major northern hub city that starts with the letter S. it is part of a children's mental health treatment center attached to a hospital. They have a program whereby the family stays in a "home" setting for evaluation for a number of days. I have heard helpful things about it. They also can talk with you about out of town Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s. Simply because one isn't local to you doesn't mean your difficult child may not be eligible for placement at the nearest one such as in the S city or in my city. Better on a long wait list that may not be needed once difficult children name comes up than not on one and possibly things getting worse. I really hope you find solutions. I know how hard it can be. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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