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General Parenting
I hate how I feel. Hate it.
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 488141" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I dont know if this is possible but is there a healthy level of dissociation? I think I do it. when Q does things that feel so mean and I just am so sick of being beat up.... I just can split into the functional mom and the real me. I have to because while I have never felt hate---I have felt the need to totally get away and since that is NOT possible most times, I have to do it this way.</p><p></p><p>I know I am not the cause of this stuff and I dont feel bad for being human and wishing him away at times. (good lesson for me when he was in the hospital, I missed him so terribly). I dont have other kids.... any of you all who do, that is just a world of difference. To have to frame everything in a way to keep the whole family functioning... just overwhelming. I can't even begin to imagine.</p><p></p><p>Would it help to talk to yourself/your post as if you were telling someone here what you felt would help from what you just said? wow that was one long run on sentence, sorry. Maybe imagine or pretend write a reply here imagining it was one of us who wrote your post ?? in my humble opinion, you would not be normal if you didn't get some level of intermal defensiveness when hurt so much. I dont think that feelings are ever wrong. How we handle feelings can be wrong. but I beg you to not feel badly for what you feel. HUGS and support. Dee</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 488141, member: 12886"] I dont know if this is possible but is there a healthy level of dissociation? I think I do it. when Q does things that feel so mean and I just am so sick of being beat up.... I just can split into the functional mom and the real me. I have to because while I have never felt hate---I have felt the need to totally get away and since that is NOT possible most times, I have to do it this way. I know I am not the cause of this stuff and I dont feel bad for being human and wishing him away at times. (good lesson for me when he was in the hospital, I missed him so terribly). I dont have other kids.... any of you all who do, that is just a world of difference. To have to frame everything in a way to keep the whole family functioning... just overwhelming. I can't even begin to imagine. Would it help to talk to yourself/your post as if you were telling someone here what you felt would help from what you just said? wow that was one long run on sentence, sorry. Maybe imagine or pretend write a reply here imagining it was one of us who wrote your post ?? in my humble opinion, you would not be normal if you didn't get some level of intermal defensiveness when hurt so much. I dont think that feelings are ever wrong. How we handle feelings can be wrong. but I beg you to not feel badly for what you feel. HUGS and support. Dee [/QUOTE]
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I hate how I feel. Hate it.
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