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I HATE kids...especially toddlers
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 620602" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Janet, I didn't mean to put you on the defensive. All I meant is that if you just let your kids parent their kids and don't get overly involved with that, you'll feel calmer and healthier. You can't force them to parent a certain way anyhow.</p><p></p><p>Your arrangement works well for you. Actually, the kids of my best friend (before she passed on) all live in one big house that used to be a church. It's gigantic! All of the kids have various forms of autism, mostly high functioning. The oldest one is very bright and has a wonderful job and will probably never marry. He is the head of the family and takes care of his brothers and sisters. Some work. Some work part-time. The girls will likely move out (younger two), but I'm not sure the boys ever will. They get along great and it's a very close family. Their father is in a new relationship and has given the house deed to his oldest son. The house is paid up so the kids just share the upkeep and utility bills. And everyone is fine with this.</p><p></p><p>The biggest difference is that these kids are ALWAYS uber-respectful to their father and were the same to Mom so, although Mom used to angst a bit that they would never be on their own, she also recognized that they had special issues and were good-hearted people and she did not have to get involved in their lives. They were high functioning enough to make their own decisions. Dad is peaceful in his choice as well. I can't brag about the oldest adult child enough. He is a real winner. Yet all the sibls right now do live together. I imagine if any marry and have grands, they will move in. One did marry. He moved out and I don't know if he moved back again or not but it is similar to your situation and it works!</p><p></p><p>My concern is your health from worrying about your kids and the grands. You provided a safe place for them and have done all you can for your entire family. May Tony and you finally have peace of mind.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 620602, member: 1550"] Janet, I didn't mean to put you on the defensive. All I meant is that if you just let your kids parent their kids and don't get overly involved with that, you'll feel calmer and healthier. You can't force them to parent a certain way anyhow. Your arrangement works well for you. Actually, the kids of my best friend (before she passed on) all live in one big house that used to be a church. It's gigantic! All of the kids have various forms of autism, mostly high functioning. The oldest one is very bright and has a wonderful job and will probably never marry. He is the head of the family and takes care of his brothers and sisters. Some work. Some work part-time. The girls will likely move out (younger two), but I'm not sure the boys ever will. They get along great and it's a very close family. Their father is in a new relationship and has given the house deed to his oldest son. The house is paid up so the kids just share the upkeep and utility bills. And everyone is fine with this. The biggest difference is that these kids are ALWAYS uber-respectful to their father and were the same to Mom so, although Mom used to angst a bit that they would never be on their own, she also recognized that they had special issues and were good-hearted people and she did not have to get involved in their lives. They were high functioning enough to make their own decisions. Dad is peaceful in his choice as well. I can't brag about the oldest adult child enough. He is a real winner. Yet all the sibls right now do live together. I imagine if any marry and have grands, they will move in. One did marry. He moved out and I don't know if he moved back again or not but it is similar to your situation and it works! My concern is your health from worrying about your kids and the grands. You provided a safe place for them and have done all you can for your entire family. May Tony and you finally have peace of mind. [/QUOTE]
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I HATE kids...especially toddlers
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