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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 135768" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Pam, </p><p></p><p>you sound tired and frustrated. I hope you find a way to recharge your batteries. I was laughing to myself about the comment "If the kids and the stress went away I would probably die from lack of it." I can tell you when Dude left for Department of Juvenile Justice, then the group home I had almost a year of peace and quiet and my psychiatrist accused me of creating my own chaos so i could feel normal. While I was somewhere between offended and epiphany - I learned to stop a lot of self-destructive behaviors, take time for myself despite the war that ranges on with difficult child's immaturity. </p><p></p><p>I learned how to relax, how to communicate better, how to put myself in my kids shoes - and react accordingly. It helped me immensely. Sometimes <u>how</u> I said things wasn't as important as <u>what</u> i said. (yes I meant to write it that way) </p><p></p><p>Some days I think I would have cried if anyone had been kind to me just a little. Those days I came here - wrote a vent - got some replies, advice, love, hugs and laughter - and regrouped. </p><p></p><p>Vent away oh non-vented woman. I used to look up at the sky and say "You know - I think i could deal with him if he was JUST behaviorally challenged but you just HAD to put encopretic in there for me to totally loose my mind, didn't you. DIDN'T YOU????" and God remained silent. </p><p></p><p>Now at 17 - I don't have the encopretic thing to deal with and I try to remember the days I stood in the back yard laughing at God for thinking I was such a mother to handle what I thought I could not, but did handle. </p><p></p><p> Now I stand in the yard and look up and say "Okay can we re-negotiate that request? I mean he's not encopretic anymore - How about good behavior?" and still - I laugh.....and still God remains mostly silent. </p><p></p><p> I too hate the parent I had to be to deal with a difficult child - I wanted to be JUST MOM like everyone else. Somedays I feel like Molly Brown on the Titanic - except when they said Women AND children - I'd opt for the lifeboat with just WOMEN. </p><p></p><p>HANG TOUGH - YOU ARE NOT ALONE. (We'll send the men in the white coats to get you soon) </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 135768, member: 4964"] Pam, you sound tired and frustrated. I hope you find a way to recharge your batteries. I was laughing to myself about the comment "If the kids and the stress went away I would probably die from lack of it." I can tell you when Dude left for Department of Juvenile Justice, then the group home I had almost a year of peace and quiet and my psychiatrist accused me of creating my own chaos so i could feel normal. While I was somewhere between offended and epiphany - I learned to stop a lot of self-destructive behaviors, take time for myself despite the war that ranges on with difficult child's immaturity. I learned how to relax, how to communicate better, how to put myself in my kids shoes - and react accordingly. It helped me immensely. Sometimes [U]how[/U] I said things wasn't as important as [U]what[/U] i said. (yes I meant to write it that way) Some days I think I would have cried if anyone had been kind to me just a little. Those days I came here - wrote a vent - got some replies, advice, love, hugs and laughter - and regrouped. Vent away oh non-vented woman. I used to look up at the sky and say "You know - I think i could deal with him if he was JUST behaviorally challenged but you just HAD to put encopretic in there for me to totally loose my mind, didn't you. DIDN'T YOU????" and God remained silent. Now at 17 - I don't have the encopretic thing to deal with and I try to remember the days I stood in the back yard laughing at God for thinking I was such a mother to handle what I thought I could not, but did handle. Now I stand in the yard and look up and say "Okay can we re-negotiate that request? I mean he's not encopretic anymore - How about good behavior?" and still - I laugh.....and still God remains mostly silent. I too hate the parent I had to be to deal with a difficult child - I wanted to be JUST MOM like everyone else. Somedays I feel like Molly Brown on the Titanic - except when they said Women AND children - I'd opt for the lifeboat with just WOMEN. HANG TOUGH - YOU ARE NOT ALONE. (We'll send the men in the white coats to get you soon) Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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