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I hate to evict someone from my cousin's apt---help!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 420646" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You can do this. figure out how much a comparable, not rent controlled apartment in that area would cost to rent. Then multiply that by however many months she has been there.</p><p> </p><p>As she hems and haws, tell her that this is the way it is, and it is going to happen. Period. Give her the directions (I would fax them to her or pay to have them overnighted to her so that you have proof that she received them, even if you have to pay for Sat delivery. This way she cannot say she didn't know ahead of time or you didn't give her all or the correct instructions.</p><p> </p><p>As she starts to hem and haw, or to argue or say you are being unfair, point out that she has been there rent free for X months. Tell her you could have rented the place for $ each month and over the months she has been there you (P) have lost $$$ (the amt you figured out for rent times 9 mos that she has been there). Tell her that you had NO idea that she intended to stay for a month, let alone almost a year, when you agreed that she could stay there. You have allowed her to stay there for so long out of the kindness of your heart but she has to go now. Did she think you were going to support her for the rest of her life?? Why does she think that she has a right to stay even one more night when she has paid NO money for rent and the use of the furnishings for so long? EVERY night she stays there is a GIFT from you (P) and Christmas is over and Santa's bag is now closed.</p><p> </p><p>Then let her know that if she wants her things she is to pack them up according to directions because you are NOT responsible for returning anything that she doesn't have packed up <strong>and</strong>clearly labelled according to the directions you gave her. You are also not responsible for storing them, so if they arrive with the rest of P's things you will not keep them or attempt to notify her. IF she wants to have them back she will need to touch base with you occasionally (maybe tell her to call monthly?). Iif you have found them and they are still with you/in storage then she can pay you for the cost of shipping them (weight of the items multiplied by the cost per pound to ship and whatever fee per box or pound you paid for packing) to where you are AND the cost to ship them to wherever she is living then. If they are broken, damaged, lost or stolen this is NOT your responsibility because you told her how to pack and label them. If she really wanted them she would have not only done that but also moved them out of the apartment to avoid confusion, mistakes and lost items. Also tell her that you are not likely to hold on to them even for a few days after you unpack them - IF they are unpacked. As P is not in an apartment but instead is in a nursing home, she does not have all of her possessions with her. Boxes that go into storage will NOT be unpacked or opened and searched if this woman is missing something. If she tells you that she is missing something before you unpack, you will TRY to set it aside for her IF you remember what it is and you find it. </p><p> </p><p>She has taken great advantage of you and has NO right to make any kind of demands at this point. in my opinion she should be kissing your feet and asking what she can do to make this process easier for you. Whining about how this is unfair goes way into the territory of ungrateful and taking advantage. </p><p> </p><p>Has anyone checked the condition of the apartment on a regular basis since this woman checked in? If no one has checked it out regularly and especially recently this woman could have robbed you blind. Or the furniture could be destroyed, painted, chopped up, who knows what?? I hope that she has taken good care of the apartment and P's belongings but I wouldn't bet on it. what kind of person moves into someone's apartment for 9 months and doesn't pay a penny in rent? The few people I know who would do this make this a real worry in my mind. </p><p> </p><p>It did cross my mind that the woman could be sending the friend $ for rent, thinking the friend is the apt manager. This could give her some legal rights she otherwise wouldn't have. I don't know if she is aware of these rights so it might not be a problem either way, but it is something to be aware of if she brings it up. Of course if she has been giving rent to the friend, well, that is a whole other mess to handle.</p><p> </p><p>I hope things go smoothly and you can get P's belonging with little or no problem or drama. </p><p> </p><p>Have your husband bring home an Xray of a spine and look at it while you talk to her as a reminder that you have a backbone and won't let her walk all over you. Not kidding. A friend's husband left her 2 weeks after we moved away. She held some things that didn't fit into our UHaul when we moved. Her husband was trying to take everything but the kids and I sent her an exray of my spine taken years before when I had surgery. She put it on a window by her desk and looked at it when she talked to him. She said it helped her stand up for herself and the kdis. Maybe it would help you?</p><p> </p><p>(Hey, would little lockets with a picture of a spine from an xray inside be a good reminder to stand up for yourself for women? Maybe I could make them and sell them to women leaving bad relationships?? Boy do strange things pop into my brain!)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 420646, member: 1233"] You can do this. figure out how much a comparable, not rent controlled apartment in that area would cost to rent. Then multiply that by however many months she has been there. As she hems and haws, tell her that this is the way it is, and it is going to happen. Period. Give her the directions (I would fax them to her or pay to have them overnighted to her so that you have proof that she received them, even if you have to pay for Sat delivery. This way she cannot say she didn't know ahead of time or you didn't give her all or the correct instructions. As she starts to hem and haw, or to argue or say you are being unfair, point out that she has been there rent free for X months. Tell her you could have rented the place for $ each month and over the months she has been there you (P) have lost $$$ (the amt you figured out for rent times 9 mos that she has been there). Tell her that you had NO idea that she intended to stay for a month, let alone almost a year, when you agreed that she could stay there. You have allowed her to stay there for so long out of the kindness of your heart but she has to go now. Did she think you were going to support her for the rest of her life?? Why does she think that she has a right to stay even one more night when she has paid NO money for rent and the use of the furnishings for so long? EVERY night she stays there is a GIFT from you (P) and Christmas is over and Santa's bag is now closed. Then let her know that if she wants her things she is to pack them up according to directions because you are NOT responsible for returning anything that she doesn't have packed up [B]and[/B]clearly labelled according to the directions you gave her. You are also not responsible for storing them, so if they arrive with the rest of P's things you will not keep them or attempt to notify her. IF she wants to have them back she will need to touch base with you occasionally (maybe tell her to call monthly?). Iif you have found them and they are still with you/in storage then she can pay you for the cost of shipping them (weight of the items multiplied by the cost per pound to ship and whatever fee per box or pound you paid for packing) to where you are AND the cost to ship them to wherever she is living then. If they are broken, damaged, lost or stolen this is NOT your responsibility because you told her how to pack and label them. If she really wanted them she would have not only done that but also moved them out of the apartment to avoid confusion, mistakes and lost items. Also tell her that you are not likely to hold on to them even for a few days after you unpack them - IF they are unpacked. As P is not in an apartment but instead is in a nursing home, she does not have all of her possessions with her. Boxes that go into storage will NOT be unpacked or opened and searched if this woman is missing something. If she tells you that she is missing something before you unpack, you will TRY to set it aside for her IF you remember what it is and you find it. She has taken great advantage of you and has NO right to make any kind of demands at this point. in my opinion she should be kissing your feet and asking what she can do to make this process easier for you. Whining about how this is unfair goes way into the territory of ungrateful and taking advantage. Has anyone checked the condition of the apartment on a regular basis since this woman checked in? If no one has checked it out regularly and especially recently this woman could have robbed you blind. Or the furniture could be destroyed, painted, chopped up, who knows what?? I hope that she has taken good care of the apartment and P's belongings but I wouldn't bet on it. what kind of person moves into someone's apartment for 9 months and doesn't pay a penny in rent? The few people I know who would do this make this a real worry in my mind. It did cross my mind that the woman could be sending the friend $ for rent, thinking the friend is the apt manager. This could give her some legal rights she otherwise wouldn't have. I don't know if she is aware of these rights so it might not be a problem either way, but it is something to be aware of if she brings it up. Of course if she has been giving rent to the friend, well, that is a whole other mess to handle. I hope things go smoothly and you can get P's belonging with little or no problem or drama. Have your husband bring home an Xray of a spine and look at it while you talk to her as a reminder that you have a backbone and won't let her walk all over you. Not kidding. A friend's husband left her 2 weeks after we moved away. She held some things that didn't fit into our UHaul when we moved. Her husband was trying to take everything but the kids and I sent her an exray of my spine taken years before when I had surgery. She put it on a window by her desk and looked at it when she talked to him. She said it helped her stand up for herself and the kdis. Maybe it would help you? (Hey, would little lockets with a picture of a spine from an xray inside be a good reminder to stand up for yourself for women? Maybe I could make them and sell them to women leaving bad relationships?? Boy do strange things pop into my brain!) [/QUOTE]
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I hate to evict someone from my cousin's apt---help!
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