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I have a mean cursing difficult child - I want to run away
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 259091" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>The signature just disappears while you are posting - it will get back once you hit submit.</p><p> </p><p>I am so sorry for your son's disrespect. My diva gets much the same way. I so hate hate hate it.</p><p> </p><p>What I did with diva was tell her not to ask anything of me until she can be nice to me for one month. She was much older though - just turned 18 so I am not sure how that would work with your difficult child.</p><p> </p><p>I think trying to stay calm and not let it show how it is effecting you. Put on a stance that this nastiness is not worth your ears to hear. Calmly yet firmly repeat, "You may not talk to me like that". You do not have to do anything for him until he can calm down and ask politely. Keep in mind that that will be extremely hard for him and for awhile polite will just mean no cursing and a negative attitude. He can not go from total nasty to total respect in one day. It took awhile to build into this, it will take a longer while to dig out.</p><p> </p><p>I don't usually do a good job at this myself but I am trying. Sometimes I get caught off guard and fall into the yelling back stage. I also think the ignoring stage can get dangerous since his anger will build and build until you address what he wants. You have the right to tell him that you will answer him once he is able to calm down and be polite. </p><p> </p><p>He has to learn that his first step in getting anything is his attitude.</p><p> </p><p>At a calm time, you can talk to him about the attitude of your home. Let him know that you do not believe he is any happier with than you are. That you are going to try harder to listen to his challenges and you would like him to try harder at not swearing and cursing you. Together as a team you can turn that around. It will take a very long time but if you can get him working with you on this it just might work?</p><p> </p><p>Be prepared to address it often throughout the day. Praise him when he has been polite (or skipped the swearing atleast). Let him know you understand his frustrations. </p><p> </p><p>Find things the two of you can do together to help rebuild that bond. Movies, walk, bike, bowling, skating, skiing, whatever it is he likes to do. Even if it is you watching him do his thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 259091, member: 5096"] The signature just disappears while you are posting - it will get back once you hit submit. I am so sorry for your son's disrespect. My diva gets much the same way. I so hate hate hate it. What I did with diva was tell her not to ask anything of me until she can be nice to me for one month. She was much older though - just turned 18 so I am not sure how that would work with your difficult child. I think trying to stay calm and not let it show how it is effecting you. Put on a stance that this nastiness is not worth your ears to hear. Calmly yet firmly repeat, "You may not talk to me like that". You do not have to do anything for him until he can calm down and ask politely. Keep in mind that that will be extremely hard for him and for awhile polite will just mean no cursing and a negative attitude. He can not go from total nasty to total respect in one day. It took awhile to build into this, it will take a longer while to dig out. I don't usually do a good job at this myself but I am trying. Sometimes I get caught off guard and fall into the yelling back stage. I also think the ignoring stage can get dangerous since his anger will build and build until you address what he wants. You have the right to tell him that you will answer him once he is able to calm down and be polite. He has to learn that his first step in getting anything is his attitude. At a calm time, you can talk to him about the attitude of your home. Let him know that you do not believe he is any happier with than you are. That you are going to try harder to listen to his challenges and you would like him to try harder at not swearing and cursing you. Together as a team you can turn that around. It will take a very long time but if you can get him working with you on this it just might work? Be prepared to address it often throughout the day. Praise him when he has been polite (or skipped the swearing atleast). Let him know you understand his frustrations. Find things the two of you can do together to help rebuild that bond. Movies, walk, bike, bowling, skating, skiing, whatever it is he likes to do. Even if it is you watching him do his thing. [/QUOTE]
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I have a mean cursing difficult child - I want to run away
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