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Substance Abuse
I just don't know..
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 611532" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, it's a grieving process, much like a death only the person is still alive...he is not the person we knew or wanted him to become or whom he could have been. It is hard to grieve alone. For me, I have used twelve step groups such as Al-Anon and the idea of "Let Go and Let God" has helped me a lot. If God is not in your life, the group still has very useful ideas in my opinion of how to let go of your grown child's bad choices and how to start to live again without that constant pressure around your chest, like a heart attack, or your own breaking heart. There is nothing you can do so it is best to learn how to move on and still enjoy your life. You must have other loved ones who you can enjoy and who are able to appreciate the great person that you are. You must have friends who like to spend time with you, hobbies you like, activities you always wanted to try but never have. This is the time! Therapy is good too. You can learn stress relief methods that actually help your body to relax when it is so tight you feel like you have brittle bones! NAMI has classes on how to cope with a mentally ill family member. The worst thing you can do for yourself and the pain that you feel is nothing at all. If you don't move forward, in spite of your son's poor choices, you will not get rid of the pain and that's no way to live.</p><p></p><p>There is a lot of different types of therapy. Cognitive may not be for you, but there is dialectal behavioral therapy (it also requires a huge effort though and maybe you don't have the energy for that right now). Old fashion talk therapy can be a great release with the right therapist. I always got at least as much out of self-help groups as professionals. You try and see what works for you.</p><p></p><p>by the way, to this day if I see somebody who is anorexic and looks spaced out, I think, "He/she is using meth." My daughter was stick skinny when she did. Her chubbiness now makes me feel safe and peaceful! I know that automatic "Meth Addict!" reaction. Can so relate!</p><p></p><p>Of course, we are here too.</p><p></p><p>Hugs. So sorry you're hurting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 611532, member: 1550"] Well, it's a grieving process, much like a death only the person is still alive...he is not the person we knew or wanted him to become or whom he could have been. It is hard to grieve alone. For me, I have used twelve step groups such as Al-Anon and the idea of "Let Go and Let God" has helped me a lot. If God is not in your life, the group still has very useful ideas in my opinion of how to let go of your grown child's bad choices and how to start to live again without that constant pressure around your chest, like a heart attack, or your own breaking heart. There is nothing you can do so it is best to learn how to move on and still enjoy your life. You must have other loved ones who you can enjoy and who are able to appreciate the great person that you are. You must have friends who like to spend time with you, hobbies you like, activities you always wanted to try but never have. This is the time! Therapy is good too. You can learn stress relief methods that actually help your body to relax when it is so tight you feel like you have brittle bones! NAMI has classes on how to cope with a mentally ill family member. The worst thing you can do for yourself and the pain that you feel is nothing at all. If you don't move forward, in spite of your son's poor choices, you will not get rid of the pain and that's no way to live. There is a lot of different types of therapy. Cognitive may not be for you, but there is dialectal behavioral therapy (it also requires a huge effort though and maybe you don't have the energy for that right now). Old fashion talk therapy can be a great release with the right therapist. I always got at least as much out of self-help groups as professionals. You try and see what works for you. by the way, to this day if I see somebody who is anorexic and looks spaced out, I think, "He/she is using meth." My daughter was stick skinny when she did. Her chubbiness now makes me feel safe and peaceful! I know that automatic "Meth Addict!" reaction. Can so relate! Of course, we are here too. Hugs. So sorry you're hurting. [/QUOTE]
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