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I knew this day would come but it still worries me
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 382155" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>wow this is right up my alley lol. sheesh i'm sorry first of all for all this **** in your life and especially kids. you truly just never do know with ppl. i say that all the time. with that being said i lived a life whereas my dad also took off on us, no contact, no money etc. i wanted to find him etc. and boy did i ever.</p><p> </p><p>all i can say is this your children are turning into adults, one is practically an adult. you can't control this issue anymore. my mom counldnt' when i was eleven. i went to seek mine out. did it hurt, yes. was it the right thing to do? i dont' know.</p><p> </p><p>at the end of the day they seemingly need some type of closure to this, they may have gotten so much conflicting info regarding him that easy child is somewhat determined to find him, seek out the answers for herself, settle the curiosity. it very well may hurt them, it is part of their world in a sense. yet you can't stop it or control it. all you can do is help guide at this point in my opinion. you have to go with what your mom gut is telling you. yet i know from experience first hand if they wanna seek him out they certainly willl. you are not responsible for this man's faults, mistakes or abondenment of the kids i think you get that. nor will you be responsible if they do get hurt a bit. yet in all honesty sometimes it's what a kid needs to end closure to what seems like alot of stories and emotions circling the issue.</p><p> </p><p>you will be there for her and him, cause you sound like a great mom. and they may hurt, but than they'll heal. and when they do it'll be forever not just for today or just from the last story they heard about him (conflicting info. stupid ex's family gives them). also if she does locate him, she will than be able to first hand judge for herself as an almost adult person who this man really is.</p><p> </p><p>it's one of those situations that as parents we'd love to be able to control, protect yet you just cant'. sometimes things just have to go full circle however they will go. again just my opinion. i lived it twice unfortunately with my own dad and with my easy child whose dad isn't in the picture.</p><p> </p><p>good luck and have faith in the children that you have raised and the logic and values you have taught them. ((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 382155, member: 4514"] wow this is right up my alley lol. sheesh i'm sorry first of all for all this **** in your life and especially kids. you truly just never do know with ppl. i say that all the time. with that being said i lived a life whereas my dad also took off on us, no contact, no money etc. i wanted to find him etc. and boy did i ever. all i can say is this your children are turning into adults, one is practically an adult. you can't control this issue anymore. my mom counldnt' when i was eleven. i went to seek mine out. did it hurt, yes. was it the right thing to do? i dont' know. at the end of the day they seemingly need some type of closure to this, they may have gotten so much conflicting info regarding him that easy child is somewhat determined to find him, seek out the answers for herself, settle the curiosity. it very well may hurt them, it is part of their world in a sense. yet you can't stop it or control it. all you can do is help guide at this point in my opinion. you have to go with what your mom gut is telling you. yet i know from experience first hand if they wanna seek him out they certainly willl. you are not responsible for this man's faults, mistakes or abondenment of the kids i think you get that. nor will you be responsible if they do get hurt a bit. yet in all honesty sometimes it's what a kid needs to end closure to what seems like alot of stories and emotions circling the issue. you will be there for her and him, cause you sound like a great mom. and they may hurt, but than they'll heal. and when they do it'll be forever not just for today or just from the last story they heard about him (conflicting info. stupid ex's family gives them). also if she does locate him, she will than be able to first hand judge for herself as an almost adult person who this man really is. it's one of those situations that as parents we'd love to be able to control, protect yet you just cant'. sometimes things just have to go full circle however they will go. again just my opinion. i lived it twice unfortunately with my own dad and with my easy child whose dad isn't in the picture. good luck and have faith in the children that you have raised and the logic and values you have taught them. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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