Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I lost control :(
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 197965" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Well, I read through this and maybe I missed it, but I don't see anywhere where you "lost control". Ok, you said some things you wish you hadn't and you got upset (don't we all at times), but losing control in this situation would have been tossing everything of hers outside and calling DSS to come and get her or taking a belt to her butt or worse, in my humble opinion. Really, I'm not so sure that she didn't deserve either of those things.</p><p></p><p>Now, I think she was intentionally provoking you. Somehow our kids seem to justify making stupid and bad decisions if they think we are mad at them or we've lost control of the situation. I see that in difficult child sometimes- he's tempted to do something that could get himself in trouble and will instigate an arguement or try to make me upset somehow and then if I "fall" for that and get in that mode, he goes and does the stupid thing. At least with my son, it almost seems like he creates a situation where him doing something bad for himself is justified because it punishes me for not keeping my cool- or maybe he just thinks I won't be so mad at him for doing something bad if I'm feeling guilty or bad about myself.</p><p></p><p>I don't get it, but <em>sometimes</em> if I can handle things in a different way, a way that obviously keeps the responsibility on his shoulders, not mine, he will regroup. That is really tough and I haven't mastered it yet and I'm not sure that particualr method is going to work most of the time. But I get exhausted with getting caught up in it and sometimes just calmly say "well, I'm sorry to hear that's the choice you want to make, I hope it works out for you." And then sometimes, I do just like you did, and feel just like you did. Don't beat yourself up- and definietly don't turn yourself into CPS over this one! LOL!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 197965, member: 3699"] Well, I read through this and maybe I missed it, but I don't see anywhere where you "lost control". Ok, you said some things you wish you hadn't and you got upset (don't we all at times), but losing control in this situation would have been tossing everything of hers outside and calling DSS to come and get her or taking a belt to her butt or worse, in my humble opinion. Really, I'm not so sure that she didn't deserve either of those things. Now, I think she was intentionally provoking you. Somehow our kids seem to justify making stupid and bad decisions if they think we are mad at them or we've lost control of the situation. I see that in difficult child sometimes- he's tempted to do something that could get himself in trouble and will instigate an arguement or try to make me upset somehow and then if I "fall" for that and get in that mode, he goes and does the stupid thing. At least with my son, it almost seems like he creates a situation where him doing something bad for himself is justified because it punishes me for not keeping my cool- or maybe he just thinks I won't be so mad at him for doing something bad if I'm feeling guilty or bad about myself. I don't get it, but [I]sometimes[/I] if I can handle things in a different way, a way that obviously keeps the responsibility on his shoulders, not mine, he will regroup. That is really tough and I haven't mastered it yet and I'm not sure that particualr method is going to work most of the time. But I get exhausted with getting caught up in it and sometimes just calmly say "well, I'm sorry to hear that's the choice you want to make, I hope it works out for you." And then sometimes, I do just like you did, and feel just like you did. Don't beat yourself up- and definietly don't turn yourself into CPS over this one! LOL! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I lost control :(
Top