I lost it REALLY BAD on difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by shellyd67, Apr 12, 2011.

  1. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    difficult child does not like what I am cooking for dinner (yet he NEVER tried it)

    The rest of the family loves it and I did offer difficult child something else knowing he HATES this dish.

    He insisted I take him to McDonalds and I said no. He then offered to pay for it himself.

    I said NO again.

    We were away this weekend and ate on the run and I do not want him having fast food.

    He then proceeded to tell me he was walking to McDonalds (it is right up the street from our house)

    I tried to ignore him and then just flipped on him. I said some really MEAN things.

    I wish I didn't. He ran to his room and screamed "why did you even give birth to me ?"

    I feel so bad right now. I usually don't lose my cool but had enough !

    Just needed to vent ....
  2. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Other things you may have said back in the heat of the moment.........and later, just to be a REAL difficult child Mom

    "If you had ONLY asked me to take you to WENDYS....WHY is it ALWAYS, ALWAYs, ALWAYS McDonalds?"

    "I gave birth to you, because I looked at all the other babies and said HE looks the most complicated, let me have THAT one God, please."

    "OH YEAH? Well I hope you want GIFT CERTIFICATES for Christmas cause that's ALL you're gettin' now BUCKO."

    "Golden child, Golden Arches, Golden Rule, Golden Calf......and which one did I get Moses?"

    "Hey difficult child Guess where I went for LUNCH today? mwhahahahahahaahahahahahaha." (make the arches sign with your fingers) nom nom nom.

    "Ronld McDonald called - He said when you are done acting like a clown here he has an opening down the street."

    "You'll have to go to BURGER KING, if you want to get it YOUR WAY honey, around here your dads the King, and I'm the Queen."

    I really hope your today is better. Glad you came here to vent. Now go take that kid and get him a frosty. Oh wait - I see he already got that reception. lol. How about a nice hot chocolate?

    Somedays you just have to realize you are only human before you were a Mom. Hugs & Love - Star
  3. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    I really needed that Star ... I LOL thru the entire post ... Your are the best LOVE YA !!! Shelly
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    You are welcome....I actually said the first one to Dude years ago. And the second one - and the one about the clown. Poor kid. It's a wonder he survived at all in this house. lol. I will say that he does dish it back really well - quick wit and all. When I said the one about the clown - he came back with - "No Mom, you were mistaken that call was for you. You're the funny one in the house." (gotta love em.)
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hugs, Shelly. He'll survive. I also have a fast wit and a fast mouth, and have said similar things to Miss KT in the heat of battle.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm a big believer in apologies. I've often said to my children, "I'm sorry. I was wrong." It works magic.
  7. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    You're only human...unfortunately we parents sometimes do things we are not proud of. I'm proud of you for recognizing it and are willing to apologize for it.

    It happens. You are an awesome warrior mom!!

    Somedays it's just SO hard.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    MWM is right. I remember the first time I apologized to Dude. He was gobsmacked. The second time I said "I'm sorry, I'm only human." He came back with "No you're not, you're a MONSTER." I'm not sure if I deserved it or not...but it was a point well taken.

    Cubs girl makes a good point too - somedays are just hard. And then we all go to McDonalds...:groan:(sorry)
  9. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    It's ok Shelly. I know how you feel - I have done the same thing and then felt terrible afterward. I just apologize for the way I acted and give him lots of hugs and kisses - and if that fails... do what Star said! :)

    Hang in there! He knows how much you love him.
  10. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I tell my kids who don't like my food, that they can get their own dinner. In fact, they can organise the entire evening meal for the family. NEXT meal, not this one. If they don't like what I prepare, they can take my job. Please. But they have to follow the same rules I have to follow:

    1) budget. You can't blow the entire week's food budget on one meal of lobster thermidor, no matter how tempting.

    2) shop for it yourself, or at least draw up a shopping list of ingredients. Whatever you use that is already in the cupboard has to be put back onto the shopping list. Always. Whoever uses it.

    3) Make sure what you prepare takes into account everybody's dietary restrictions and preferences. If you have a Jack Spratt and his wife situation (ie the only thing one will eat, another hates and refuses) then you have to accommodate it.

    4) If someone complains, do not blow your cool.

    Somewhere in there, a person's other chores have to be done or negotiated to be done by someone else.

    I helped my kids through this process. I remember my mother working with me on something similar - back when I was a kid, we had compulsory cooking class for girls at school. These were a joke, the food usually inedible. We had to eat what we cooked. I remember curried eggs was a particularly fearsome class. We'd heard horror stories form kids in other classes, about how awfully spicy and horrible this was. So when it was our turn, I said to my fellow students at our stove, "Let's only put in a quarter the amount of curry powder."
    The teacher was suspicious because our bechamel with curry powder was not as yellow as it should have been, but I lied to the teacher wide-eyed and said I had put in the required tablespoonful (instead of the teaspoonful I used). When we were done and sat down to eat - my table-mates loved it. We were the only group in the class who could eat their food. And not only eat it, but enjoyed it. At that point I confessed to the teacher that I had made it palatable by reducing the curry powder amount, and we all liked it.

    It was a breakthrough moment for me, cooking-wise. I learned that recipes I don't like can sometimes be played with to make them tastier. I rushed home and said to my mother, "I want to fix curried eggs for dinner for everybody."
    Mum said, "But your sister doesn't like curry, says it is too spicy."
    I said, "I've found a way to make it taste good, without being spicy."
    So I did it. My mother let me take over the kitchen to do it. I felt so good doing this. Of course I had cooked dinner for the family before, but usually under circumstances where my mother was in hospital and I had to follow her exact evening routine in her absence. But this time I was doing it for the fun of it, doing what I wanted, knowing my mum was not in hospital this time but in the next room relaxing for a change.

    So a bad situation and a kid feeling frustrated and angry t a meal he/she doesn't want, can be turned around.

    Another point - boys especially, adolescents especially, tend to get "munchies" really badly and want THAT thing, NOW. They get really unreasonable about it, like a diabetic who has taken too much insulin and feels the world slipping away, fast. I've seen kids like this arrive home from school and rush almost panicked to the fridge in search of something to stave off the hunger pangs. I used to make up vegetable sticks and cream cheese dips (or similar) for them to raid. Or cold cooked sausages. I saw friends go through this too, with their kids. Especially the boys. Weird, but poking food at a hungry bear first calms the savage beast enough for them to be a bit more reasonable afterwards.