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I love my difficult child..
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 286740" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Susan,</p><p></p><p>That was a really good post. I don't really judge posts as good or bad, but this one is really GOOD.</p><p></p><p>You realize that deep down you love him. Always have. Always will.</p><p></p><p>You realize you want to spend time with <em>him</em>, but he only comes to you when he wants money or drugs.</p><p></p><p>You seem to realize that right now he isn't the little boy you read to and diapered and kissed and hugged. He isn't the person you had so much fun with. </p><p></p><p>You seem to have the light shining on the situation and you realize you love him, but do not like what he has become. You don't like being used. </p><p></p><p>You seem to "get it" that whatever he does it is for drugs and alcohol. Not for love. Not for the sake of the fun times. Not for the mom who stayed up all night making sure Christmas would be "just right". Not for the mom who wore the same coat for 15 years so he could play sports, and do activities and wear the "cool" clothing.</p><p></p><p>It is like you are finally able to really see that he isn't the child you raised. That you are at a point you can celebrate the love you have for him while you finally grieve that drugs and alcohol stole him and he is really happy with drugs and alcohol instead of you. It hoovers to know this. but it will let you love him and detach from him.</p><p></p><p>I hope you know that every time he comes to you for a doctor appointment ride, or a ride to anywhere, it is so he can be that much closer to his next fix. NOT because he wants to see you.</p><p></p><p>So now, with this new insight, you may be more able to say, "oh, how are you going to get there? how will you pay for that?" instead of romanticizing his coming around as wanting to see you/the family. If he wants to see the house it is only so he can steal something or figure out what to take if he breaks in when no one is home.</p><p></p><p>It is great that you seem to realize the things your post expressed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 286740, member: 1233"] Susan, That was a really good post. I don't really judge posts as good or bad, but this one is really GOOD. You realize that deep down you love him. Always have. Always will. You realize you want to spend time with [I]him[/I], but he only comes to you when he wants money or drugs. You seem to realize that right now he isn't the little boy you read to and diapered and kissed and hugged. He isn't the person you had so much fun with. You seem to have the light shining on the situation and you realize you love him, but do not like what he has become. You don't like being used. You seem to "get it" that whatever he does it is for drugs and alcohol. Not for love. Not for the sake of the fun times. Not for the mom who stayed up all night making sure Christmas would be "just right". Not for the mom who wore the same coat for 15 years so he could play sports, and do activities and wear the "cool" clothing. It is like you are finally able to really see that he isn't the child you raised. That you are at a point you can celebrate the love you have for him while you finally grieve that drugs and alcohol stole him and he is really happy with drugs and alcohol instead of you. It hoovers to know this. but it will let you love him and detach from him. I hope you know that every time he comes to you for a doctor appointment ride, or a ride to anywhere, it is so he can be that much closer to his next fix. NOT because he wants to see you. So now, with this new insight, you may be more able to say, "oh, how are you going to get there? how will you pay for that?" instead of romanticizing his coming around as wanting to see you/the family. If he wants to see the house it is only so he can steal something or figure out what to take if he breaks in when no one is home. It is great that you seem to realize the things your post expressed. [/QUOTE]
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