i made a mistake with difficult child

[Ropefree]

Thank god she said something!
I spent years in training and my family moved a lot so my first recital after 15 years was in a HUGE venue.
I was so extremely nervous and everything did go wrong. My costume fell apart
like days befor the event the first time I put it on. I had full time college and a job so I was sewing everynight and had little sleep. I was pure nerve when we went on stage.
It involved alot of proformers and after my bits I was to sit on stage...in the middle area...sooooo
when i fell asleep nobody noticed until everyone was off and the audiance was starting to snicker and so forth...
someone came to get me...and I awoke to an enormous sound of laughter.

Carol Burnette became a comedian after dressing in the dark for a torchlight song sooo
when the spot light pulled back to include her legs she had the black seams going up the front of her legs.
That was the beginning of one of the most remarkable talents of all times.
Stage fright is SO normal. And the fact is it is survivable. It feels scarry and then what happens is that it becomes less intimidating...when all goes well, or when all goes wrong.
Going to see the proformance is good too. It is ok to decide not now. And whatever the next oppertunity will come and it might be just as scarry but with determination facing that fear feeling makes the challenges of life less
uncomfprtable.

 

[janebrain]

I think it's good you are not having friends and family come the 1st night. I perform in a group that sings and does skits and I am far less nervous when I am performing in front of strangers than in front of people I know. Hope all goes well, I think you are handling things well. There is no "right" answer, you can only do what you think is best at the time.
Hugs,
Jane

 

[Andy]

I am sorry! Poor difficult child! Let her know that:

1. Even the best performers get stage fright. Mostly because they are so good at what they do. Her butterflies must be an indication that she is very good at her part.

2. Most plays have the lighting so bright that the performers do not see the audience.

Then everytime she starts to get nervous, have her practice her part. See, difficult child, you have it down flat. Just think about the story of the play. How much fun it is to be part of that team. You KNOW your part. Let everyone else know that you can do this.

I was able to get out of this issue for some unknown reason. My difficult child refused to be in front of audiences even if in a group so I did not make him do any Sunday School programs or sing with the day school kids in church. He reluctenly participated in school programs. Then last year was his first year with a major role in the school musical. It is a small school so all the older kids get major roles. I was so scared about how to get him out of it. He came home one day and was so excited he got the part he wanted. He actually did the best of all the kids!!! That really surprised me that some of the other kids didn't get into the acting that much but difficult child played his part so well. Now I am hoping he gets a solo for this Spring's musical.

He is the angel Gabriel for the Christmas program and has some difficult parts to memorize but he has them down pat.

Let your difficult child know that she can do this. Just focus on the line and whenever the nerves start coming up, go through the lines again to reassure herself.

Ask the company to have a back up who can go on last minute but do work with her up until the moment of truth. Does she know if the lighting will blind her view of the audience?

Good luck.

 

[Jena]

hi and thank you everyone i soo appreciate your words. I know it's not that big of a deal yet when i realized that i'd reached too far for her and i was giving her another potential issue to handle if felt so bad. Last thing she needed.

Anyway, i spoke to them again this time directly to the guy that works with her. Their on the last 5 weeks of the practice now, so he knows he can't find a replacement to learn the lines and the dances this quickly so he said YES!! Yea. So,he also said come to think of it maybe you could come the other few girls with whom have never been on stage and help them out. Most of the kids have done plays before.

So, he called difficult child into the studio and said to her i have no problem with mom being there for you, i think it's great this way if you need something she can give it to you. The only thing is Mom can't come on stage JK and you can't run off stage if you get scared to Mom.

So, difficult child seems to be swallowing this ok for now. I said i'll be a matter of feet away, we will have no one that we know come the first night. we'll tell them the second night they can come. She's still scared, I can handle scared, it's the bouncing off the walls up till 3 a.m. i don't want her to have to handle and the anxiety leading up to it for the next 5 weeks. So, i told her to get busy "work mode" and start writing about it tonight how she feels about it, draw some pictures about it. Drawings' huge for her. So, she's on the living room floor infront of me drawing away.

here's hoping. They have 4 performances. they have to take the day off from school one day to perform for schools at the theatre, than a few hours break and it's opening night. Then we wake up and do two more shows, or she does the next day.

Can you imagine?? by the way i had no idea it was this intense. it's a local dance company very well known for their work yet this is new the theatre group their starting. should be an experience.

smallworld - thanks again.

 

[Wiped Out]

Sounds like a good plan in place. Will be keeping good thoughts!