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I made difficult child the way he is
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 254625" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">{{Kjs}}</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">I don't think there is a person on this Blessed Earth who could beat you up more than you beat yourself up. Or me. I think I failed on a daily basis. But then I try to think of what so many others here have said in many ways: I did the best I could with what I knew and had to work with; I wasn't perfect but I was very good.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">We can only do the best job as a parent that we're capable of at any given moment. That means that as we grow as individuals and our perspectives change and mature, we change the way we parent. But the underlying love and affection we have for our children doesn't ever go away.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Despite the mean things your easy child son said to you and despite the rotten ways in which H and difficult child treat you, you can still love them without allowing them to treat you in those ways. You can still stand up for yourself. I agree that your counselor can and will help you in this. Finding a way to be yourself, do your part (without always doing more than you're responsible for), and going to bed with a heart at peace; knowing you've done the best you could that day? Now, THAT is something I think we all strive for.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">I'm sorry that your head is buried under the covers and that you cannot find comfort in your own home. That's not fair. Please address this ALONE with your therapist and focus solely on healing yourself. Let all the BS with H and easy child and difficult child go for a time and just focus on YOU. I, too, have started on this same path and I have to say, wow, I feel so much lighter and happier each time I proclaim and moment, an hour, or a day mine and mine alone - and let everyone else figure things out for themselves. Every time I feel myself becoming anxious worrying about difficult child, easy child or my marriage, I remind myself that it is NOT all up to me. I am not the fixer of all things, no one is. All [we] can be in control of is ourselves and that is a very freeing feeling. I hope you get there.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">I know you've svcked up a lot lately, but try to buck up once more and get out of your bed and room and go claim your stake in that home of yours. Go bake or get dressed and go for a nice walk in the woods; do something that makes ONLY you happy. And ignore them all. It breaks my heart that they are all ganging up on you and putting you in a room all by yourself. I hope you find the strength to change that. Hugs~</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 254625, member: 2211"] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]{{Kjs}}[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]I don't think there is a person on this Blessed Earth who could beat you up more than you beat yourself up. Or me. I think I failed on a daily basis. But then I try to think of what so many others here have said in many ways: I did the best I could with what I knew and had to work with; I wasn't perfect but I was very good.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]We can only do the best job as a parent that we're capable of at any given moment. That means that as we grow as individuals and our perspectives change and mature, we change the way we parent. But the underlying love and affection we have for our children doesn't ever go away.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Despite the mean things your easy child son said to you and despite the rotten ways in which H and difficult child treat you, you can still love them without allowing them to treat you in those ways. You can still stand up for yourself. I agree that your counselor can and will help you in this. Finding a way to be yourself, do your part (without always doing more than you're responsible for), and going to bed with a heart at peace; knowing you've done the best you could that day? Now, THAT is something I think we all strive for.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]I'm sorry that your head is buried under the covers and that you cannot find comfort in your own home. That's not fair. Please address this ALONE with your therapist and focus solely on healing yourself. Let all the BS with H and easy child and difficult child go for a time and just focus on YOU. I, too, have started on this same path and I have to say, wow, I feel so much lighter and happier each time I proclaim and moment, an hour, or a day mine and mine alone - and let everyone else figure things out for themselves. Every time I feel myself becoming anxious worrying about difficult child, easy child or my marriage, I remind myself that it is NOT all up to me. I am not the fixer of all things, no one is. All [we] can be in control of is ourselves and that is a very freeing feeling. I hope you get there.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]I know you've svcked up a lot lately, but try to buck up once more and get out of your bed and room and go claim your stake in that home of yours. Go bake or get dressed and go for a nice walk in the woods; do something that makes ONLY you happy. And ignore them all. It breaks my heart that they are all ganging up on you and putting you in a room all by yourself. I hope you find the strength to change that. Hugs~[/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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