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The Watercooler
I made difficult child the way he is
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 254645" data-attributes="member: 393"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">kjs,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I didn't read all the replies ..... so forgive me if I'm being repetitive.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I hear statements like this on a regular basis from kt &/or wm. Gets old - tiresome. The people here who know me well know my response "thank you for sharing your feelings" "appreciate knowing that" or "is that (blaming someone else usually) working for you?"</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">It tends to stop my children in their tracks - generally because I walk away after that. As mom, I don't have to explain my actions to my children. I don't have to explain the decisions I've made on their behalf when they are unstable or unreasonable, nor is it any of their business the details of my finances, marriage, job, health,etc.... I do not crave my children's approval nor friendship. I'm the mom, "the bad guy", it's in the manual someplace.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I remember blaming MY mom for everything wrong in my life because of my baby sister's terminal illness. Reasonable - not even close. My mother never responded to my statements or comments & that made me angrier; it also made me think. I had to look at things from her end & I became empathetic.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Do I expect that from the tweedles - no. Can you expect that from your children - not for a long while. It seems easy child has some growing up & acceptance of things that can't be changed to do. It's not his place to make comments of this sort regarding YOUR child. And he can share comments about his own life - you just don't have to listen.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">As a mom, you've done the best you know how. I cannot remember all the details of your family dynamic but I do know dealing with a difficult child is somewhat destructive to a healthy family dynamic. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Blow easy child off til he's ready to grow up & accept his life. If it bites to be him, he needs to change it. You can apologize (if you choose) to this adult/child until you're blue in the face & it will never be enough.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 254645, member: 393"] [SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS]kjs, I didn't read all the replies ..... so forgive me if I'm being repetitive. I hear statements like this on a regular basis from kt &/or wm. Gets old - tiresome. The people here who know me well know my response "thank you for sharing your feelings" "appreciate knowing that" or "is that (blaming someone else usually) working for you?" It tends to stop my children in their tracks - generally because I walk away after that. As mom, I don't have to explain my actions to my children. I don't have to explain the decisions I've made on their behalf when they are unstable or unreasonable, nor is it any of their business the details of my finances, marriage, job, health,etc.... I do not crave my children's approval nor friendship. I'm the mom, "the bad guy", it's in the manual someplace. I remember blaming MY mom for everything wrong in my life because of my baby sister's terminal illness. Reasonable - not even close. My mother never responded to my statements or comments & that made me angrier; it also made me think. I had to look at things from her end & I became empathetic. Do I expect that from the tweedles - no. Can you expect that from your children - not for a long while. It seems easy child has some growing up & acceptance of things that can't be changed to do. It's not his place to make comments of this sort regarding YOUR child. And he can share comments about his own life - you just don't have to listen. As a mom, you've done the best you know how. I cannot remember all the details of your family dynamic but I do know dealing with a difficult child is somewhat destructive to a healthy family dynamic. Blow easy child off til he's ready to grow up & accept his life. If it bites to be him, he needs to change it. You can apologize (if you choose) to this adult/child until you're blue in the face & it will never be enough. [/FONT][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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I made difficult child the way he is
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