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Family of Origin
I miss my sister...for the first time in say 55 years.
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabethanne" data-source="post: 654626" data-attributes="member: 18933"><p>I agree that dominant and controlling does not=good leader. The most effective leaders are anything but that. Yes, I do sense some similarities between your sister and my friend. When I first met her she was way more high energy. Her caring for Mom through 13 years of the Alzheimer's took its toll on her energy level and stamina. She's struggled with diabetes, fibromyalgia and other issues. Until the last 3 or so years, she was pretty high energy, warm, very assertive, flamboyant, loved to entertain, was an amazing cook, talented with remodel/redesign stuff and very driven. She had another beach house that she revamped from the ground up that was absolutely stunning. She rented it by the night. She lost it all, which is so hard for me to believe sometimes. Truly, she and Mom and the dogs were like family to me.</p><p>When she tried to re-enter the workforce after relying on mom and being self-employed for so many years, her self-confidence took a nosedive. She didn't know where she fit it anymore and it was sad to see her be so unsure of herself. She was also used to making the rules and telling people what to do. I guess she'd been a Real Estate Agent, owned a restaurant and did lots of side catering and party planning. She didn't seem to understand the importance of diving in and taking the good with the bad in the world of work. She was just lost, had 3 big dogs to feed, who are also pampered, spoiled and use to having people around. That was all the family she had. Estranged from her brother. He was angry that she took over the family money and took Mom 2 states away to buy a home on the water and manage an 8-plex and 2 beach houses.</p><p>I was raised with 4 boys, the only girl. My mother is 91, lives near Yosemite. Very strong, smart, somewhat narcissistic woman who raised 5 children on her own, no child support. She's softened considerably this year and seems to be making her peace with all of us. I live a few states away so I don't get to see her as often as I'd like to.</p><p>I have 2 half sisters from my father's second marriage in he same town I live in. I am 10/11 years older than them, was not raised with them. Gained two sisters when I was 19 and seeking out my father after 10 years of not seeing him. One of them looks more like me than they look like each other. They are both good people, the younger very likeable, and almost childlike in nature. Struggled with drug addiction 10 years ago, stable now. The other is way liberal/social justice minded (not that I'm not a progressive thinker, I'm just not politically motivated). Anyway, she and I use to be very close and now that we're older, we are each drawn to VERY different kinds of people and activities. My faith is very important to me, and our lifestyles are just not in sync. I am very much the "big sister" to the younger one. Kind of funny to watch her. She looks up to me like she's 12! She's very funny, animated and wears her heart on her sleeve. Children just flock around her because she is so young at heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabethanne, post: 654626, member: 18933"] I agree that dominant and controlling does not=good leader. The most effective leaders are anything but that. Yes, I do sense some similarities between your sister and my friend. When I first met her she was way more high energy. Her caring for Mom through 13 years of the Alzheimer's took its toll on her energy level and stamina. She's struggled with diabetes, fibromyalgia and other issues. Until the last 3 or so years, she was pretty high energy, warm, very assertive, flamboyant, loved to entertain, was an amazing cook, talented with remodel/redesign stuff and very driven. She had another beach house that she revamped from the ground up that was absolutely stunning. She rented it by the night. She lost it all, which is so hard for me to believe sometimes. Truly, she and Mom and the dogs were like family to me. When she tried to re-enter the workforce after relying on mom and being self-employed for so many years, her self-confidence took a nosedive. She didn't know where she fit it anymore and it was sad to see her be so unsure of herself. She was also used to making the rules and telling people what to do. I guess she'd been a Real Estate Agent, owned a restaurant and did lots of side catering and party planning. She didn't seem to understand the importance of diving in and taking the good with the bad in the world of work. She was just lost, had 3 big dogs to feed, who are also pampered, spoiled and use to having people around. That was all the family she had. Estranged from her brother. He was angry that she took over the family money and took Mom 2 states away to buy a home on the water and manage an 8-plex and 2 beach houses. I was raised with 4 boys, the only girl. My mother is 91, lives near Yosemite. Very strong, smart, somewhat narcissistic woman who raised 5 children on her own, no child support. She's softened considerably this year and seems to be making her peace with all of us. I live a few states away so I don't get to see her as often as I'd like to. I have 2 half sisters from my father's second marriage in he same town I live in. I am 10/11 years older than them, was not raised with them. Gained two sisters when I was 19 and seeking out my father after 10 years of not seeing him. One of them looks more like me than they look like each other. They are both good people, the younger very likeable, and almost childlike in nature. Struggled with drug addiction 10 years ago, stable now. The other is way liberal/social justice minded (not that I'm not a progressive thinker, I'm just not politically motivated). Anyway, she and I use to be very close and now that we're older, we are each drawn to VERY different kinds of people and activities. My faith is very important to me, and our lifestyles are just not in sync. I am very much the "big sister" to the younger one. Kind of funny to watch her. She looks up to me like she's 12! She's very funny, animated and wears her heart on her sleeve. Children just flock around her because she is so young at heart. [/QUOTE]
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I miss my sister...for the first time in say 55 years.
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