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Family of Origin
I miss my sister...for the first time in say 55 years.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 654948" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Did you stand up to your mother, SWOT?</p><p></p><p>I don't mean over that incident. I mean, were you...there were times when I saw my mother crumble, back down, back away. I was not bigger than her, so it wasn't a physical threat.</p><p></p><p>It was just that I knew what I knew.</p><p></p><p>Or maybe it was that she knew that if she allowed any further degree of crazy, she would kill us and that sort of snapped her to her senses or something.</p><p></p><p>I just wonder, if you did sort of confront her with the perfect understanding that you knew what she was doing was wrong, whether that is why she would hurt you like that.</p><p></p><p>Were you at a ceremony, like they show on television, so that the humiliation was public?</p><p></p><p>And here is another thing: When I was in The Will (and D H was made Executor over my own brother <em>even while my father was still alive</em>) it was our intention to correct whatever the wrongness was if it was in our power to do it. If there was a discrepancy, an attempt to hurt from the grave.</p><p></p><p>Now, I am very sure D H is no longer Executor, and equally certain I am not in The Will at all.</p><p></p><p>My mother sent strawberries to her sister's funeral over some slight involving strawberries when they both were young. That is vengeance.</p><p></p><p>Ew.</p><p></p><p>I had best gird my loins for this whole The Will thing.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>My mother is still with us. I anticipate nothing at all in her Will. Though I will say that she certainly does (did, when we were talking) bring up that Will, and what did we think she should do with her money (regarding investments, I mean).</p><p></p><p>Then?</p><p></p><p>She would launch into this whole diatribe about the economy and how stupid we were to have whatever.</p><p></p><p>So, who knows what that was all about. It felt like she was fishing. You know, tossing out bait to see what would elicit a hurt.</p><p></p><p>She generally did wind up calling everyone stupid. Our generation was stupid, rock and roll in general and the Rolling Stones (whom D H is partial to to this day) in particular, were stupid.</p><p></p><p>Stuff like that.</p><p></p><p>Was your mom like that, too?</p><p></p><p>My mom even left her Will lying on a kitchen counter and went into the other room once. I did not read it, but I always wondered whether she meant me to, or believed I had.</p><p></p><p>Just that phrase The Will carries a kind of numismatic magic.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry that happened to you, SWOT.</p><p></p><p>What a cruel biatch she was, to reach out from the grave with that stink.</p><p></p><p>Would you like to borrow my motorcycle and needlepoint?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>You were not a fool. You were a human being with a working brain. Everyone around us has a mother, SWOT. They seem to really enjoy their children and grands. We just don't get it why our moms don't behave that way about us. It is shaming to us.</p><p></p><p>But you know now who I think that shame belongs to. And about a bucket of rage that goes with it.</p><p></p><p>Your mom was differently wired, SWOT.</p><p></p><p>I think that might be code for "psychotic biatch". Maybe it is like I was posting to you about my mom. Fishing for something to hurt you, she landed on that <em>because </em>it hurt you. Custom made torture. </p><p></p><p>You made yourself a wonderful mom, and you gave a wonderful mom to so many kids, SWOT. Living well is the best revenge, and vengeance is a dish best eaten cold.</p><p></p><p>I never used to be about revenge or vengeance. I am probably just being a big shot right this minute. But that phrase appeals to me. "Vengeance is a dish best eaten cold."</p><p></p><p>Where is my pirate skirt.</p><p></p><p>Roar.</p><p></p><p>I am so over our mothers.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>How do you know he forgave your sister, SWOT?</p><p></p><p>My sister bullies my brothers. It's all like, "dear" and "love" and etc, but it is at her convenience and they are dropped again at her convenience. They seem eager to respond to any positive effort on anyone's part to include them because my mother hates one right out loud and twists the other to keep herself in the boss position.</p><p></p><p>So...how do you know he forgave her?</p><p></p><p>Maybe, she just overwhelmed him and wants you to <em>think</em> he is allied with her against you.</p><p></p><p>My brother has been so badly hurt that all he wants is to do the right thing by his mother (and she takes shameless advantage) and that same, forever unknowable thing we all want, a family. He has his own very loving family. He was an excellent father.</p><p></p><p>F you, mom.</p><p></p><p>I will write more later, SWOT.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for working through this with me. </p><p></p><p>Copa, Confused, Insane? Please post in if you like.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 654948, member: 17461"] Did you stand up to your mother, SWOT? I don't mean over that incident. I mean, were you...there were times when I saw my mother crumble, back down, back away. I was not bigger than her, so it wasn't a physical threat. It was just that I knew what I knew. Or maybe it was that she knew that if she allowed any further degree of crazy, she would kill us and that sort of snapped her to her senses or something. I just wonder, if you did sort of confront her with the perfect understanding that you knew what she was doing was wrong, whether that is why she would hurt you like that. Were you at a ceremony, like they show on television, so that the humiliation was public? And here is another thing: When I was in The Will (and D H was made Executor over my own brother [I]even while my father was still alive[/I]) it was our intention to correct whatever the wrongness was if it was in our power to do it. If there was a discrepancy, an attempt to hurt from the grave. Now, I am very sure D H is no longer Executor, and equally certain I am not in The Will at all. My mother sent strawberries to her sister's funeral over some slight involving strawberries when they both were young. That is vengeance. Ew. I had best gird my loins for this whole The Will thing. *** My mother is still with us. I anticipate nothing at all in her Will. Though I will say that she certainly does (did, when we were talking) bring up that Will, and what did we think she should do with her money (regarding investments, I mean). Then? She would launch into this whole diatribe about the economy and how stupid we were to have whatever. So, who knows what that was all about. It felt like she was fishing. You know, tossing out bait to see what would elicit a hurt. She generally did wind up calling everyone stupid. Our generation was stupid, rock and roll in general and the Rolling Stones (whom D H is partial to to this day) in particular, were stupid. Stuff like that. Was your mom like that, too? My mom even left her Will lying on a kitchen counter and went into the other room once. I did not read it, but I always wondered whether she meant me to, or believed I had. Just that phrase The Will carries a kind of numismatic magic. I'm sorry that happened to you, SWOT. What a cruel biatch she was, to reach out from the grave with that stink. Would you like to borrow my motorcycle and needlepoint? You were not a fool. You were a human being with a working brain. Everyone around us has a mother, SWOT. They seem to really enjoy their children and grands. We just don't get it why our moms don't behave that way about us. It is shaming to us. But you know now who I think that shame belongs to. And about a bucket of rage that goes with it. Your mom was differently wired, SWOT. I think that might be code for "psychotic biatch". Maybe it is like I was posting to you about my mom. Fishing for something to hurt you, she landed on that [I]because [/I]it hurt you. Custom made torture. You made yourself a wonderful mom, and you gave a wonderful mom to so many kids, SWOT. Living well is the best revenge, and vengeance is a dish best eaten cold. I never used to be about revenge or vengeance. I am probably just being a big shot right this minute. But that phrase appeals to me. "Vengeance is a dish best eaten cold." Where is my pirate skirt. Roar. I am so over our mothers. How do you know he forgave your sister, SWOT? My sister bullies my brothers. It's all like, "dear" and "love" and etc, but it is at her convenience and they are dropped again at her convenience. They seem eager to respond to any positive effort on anyone's part to include them because my mother hates one right out loud and twists the other to keep herself in the boss position. So...how do you know he forgave her? Maybe, she just overwhelmed him and wants you to [I]think[/I] he is allied with her against you. My brother has been so badly hurt that all he wants is to do the right thing by his mother (and she takes shameless advantage) and that same, forever unknowable thing we all want, a family. He has his own very loving family. He was an excellent father. F you, mom. I will write more later, SWOT. Thank you for working through this with me. Copa, Confused, Insane? Please post in if you like. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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I miss my sister...for the first time in say 55 years.
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