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I need a plan for myself
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 618728" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Oh Boy.............I can so relate to being tired of the revolving door. It is only recently that I got over the dread of the phone ringing.</p><p></p><p>Can you ask a friend or someone else to drop off his things at the jail when he is released? He can stay at the Salvation Army or another shelter as you mentioned. Perhaps a note on top of his things that says, "I love you however I cannot see you now, it is too painful and I am now taking care of myself. Please respect my wishes."</p><p></p><p>If you don't want to do anything, then don't. Anything you would do with resentment, in my opinion is enabling............so don't do anything. </p><p></p><p>I think if it were me, I would do the note on top of the clothes delivered by someone else. Then I would take myself to a place where I felt nourished, have dinner with SO, a compassionate girlfriend.............have a massage...........do something comforting for yourself rather then get involved in your son's new drama. </p><p></p><p>Ask yourself what you want and what are you actually willing to do without resentment? That is my go to question. It eliminates the nonsense we try to convince ourselves is the "right" thing to do. There is no right thing to do, only what you are willing to do. You've done enough. You've probably done too much. </p><p></p><p>His being released without a place to go is entirely his doing. His problem. Not yours. He lead himself to this outcome and there is NOTHING you need to do. </p><p></p><p>I know it sucks. I've been there. Take care of yourself<em><strong><u> first. </u></strong></em> Remember how resilient they are, he will find his way. Wishing you continued PEACE .............no matter what he does or doesn't do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 618728, member: 13542"] Oh Boy.............I can so relate to being tired of the revolving door. It is only recently that I got over the dread of the phone ringing. Can you ask a friend or someone else to drop off his things at the jail when he is released? He can stay at the Salvation Army or another shelter as you mentioned. Perhaps a note on top of his things that says, "I love you however I cannot see you now, it is too painful and I am now taking care of myself. Please respect my wishes." If you don't want to do anything, then don't. Anything you would do with resentment, in my opinion is enabling............so don't do anything. I think if it were me, I would do the note on top of the clothes delivered by someone else. Then I would take myself to a place where I felt nourished, have dinner with SO, a compassionate girlfriend.............have a massage...........do something comforting for yourself rather then get involved in your son's new drama. Ask yourself what you want and what are you actually willing to do without resentment? That is my go to question. It eliminates the nonsense we try to convince ourselves is the "right" thing to do. There is no right thing to do, only what you are willing to do. You've done enough. You've probably done too much. His being released without a place to go is entirely his doing. His problem. Not yours. He lead himself to this outcome and there is NOTHING you need to do. I know it sucks. I've been there. Take care of yourself[I][B][U] first. [/U][/B][/I] Remember how resilient they are, he will find his way. Wishing you continued PEACE .............no matter what he does or doesn't do. [/QUOTE]
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