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I need a plan for myself
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 618741" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I would let things go and let difficult child move on this time on his own. If you feel he may try to break in, change the locks. This is important if he is a threat to do this.</p><p></p><p>How many years have you spent trying to get through to him? He gets attention from you and probably pity and guilt and perhaps some money that he likely uses in unsavory ways. I would cut contact right now to the bare minimum so you can recoup.</p><p></p><p>If you don't have a therapist for yourself or are not in a good parent support program, such as Nar-Anon, you can garner strength by joining one of your choosing.</p><p></p><p>Drug users are very resourceful and sneaky. Your son will find a way to survive. It probably won't be the way you want him to, but he's not surviving the way you want him to anyway and you have no control over that. At least you won't be a party to his self-destruction and there is always that chance that he will suddenly see the light and turn things around. Usually this happens when they are alone and uncomfortable, not at home.</p><p></p><p>Hugs. You're doing great. Keep the focus on yourself, your peace, your health, the others in your life who value you and treat you well...this son is not your entire life. And he is NOT you/you are not him. You are two different people.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 618741, member: 1550"] I would let things go and let difficult child move on this time on his own. If you feel he may try to break in, change the locks. This is important if he is a threat to do this. How many years have you spent trying to get through to him? He gets attention from you and probably pity and guilt and perhaps some money that he likely uses in unsavory ways. I would cut contact right now to the bare minimum so you can recoup. If you don't have a therapist for yourself or are not in a good parent support program, such as Nar-Anon, you can garner strength by joining one of your choosing. Drug users are very resourceful and sneaky. Your son will find a way to survive. It probably won't be the way you want him to, but he's not surviving the way you want him to anyway and you have no control over that. At least you won't be a party to his self-destruction and there is always that chance that he will suddenly see the light and turn things around. Usually this happens when they are alone and uncomfortable, not at home. Hugs. You're doing great. Keep the focus on yourself, your peace, your health, the others in your life who value you and treat you well...this son is not your entire life. And he is NOT you/you are not him. You are two different people. [/QUOTE]
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