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I need counsel
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 486384" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry he is such a mess, but it is actually wonderful that he is dealing with all of this. It just feels so very far from wonderful when you are both going through it.</p><p></p><p>You CAN talk to or mail a letter to his therapist. She CAN listen and she CAN offer insights as to general ways to handle a patient who is showing a, b, and q symptoms outside of the office. </p><p></p><p>There needs to be some boundary - he can complain about something X times and then you will change the subject every time he brings it up, or he can rant/cry/fuss/whatever for z amt of time and then you will change the subject or stop listening. If you don't start putting some limits like this into your relationship, then nether of you will really respect you. You will be an extension of himself - one he has the right to rant at as much, as long, and as loud as he wants too. </p><p></p><p>Let the therapist know how bad it is. Ask her how to help him the most effective way possible. Ask her when he should be calling her and not you. Ask her and then Matt if maybe a session with all three of you could help you figure out the best way to help him with-o tearing up you even more.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 486384, member: 1233"] I am sorry he is such a mess, but it is actually wonderful that he is dealing with all of this. It just feels so very far from wonderful when you are both going through it. You CAN talk to or mail a letter to his therapist. She CAN listen and she CAN offer insights as to general ways to handle a patient who is showing a, b, and q symptoms outside of the office. There needs to be some boundary - he can complain about something X times and then you will change the subject every time he brings it up, or he can rant/cry/fuss/whatever for z amt of time and then you will change the subject or stop listening. If you don't start putting some limits like this into your relationship, then nether of you will really respect you. You will be an extension of himself - one he has the right to rant at as much, as long, and as loud as he wants too. Let the therapist know how bad it is. Ask her how to help him the most effective way possible. Ask her when he should be calling her and not you. Ask her and then Matt if maybe a session with all three of you could help you figure out the best way to help him with-o tearing up you even more. [/QUOTE]
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