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Substance Abuse
I need encouragement to do the right thing...
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 602079" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I think you know you've done all you could. And then some! I do think it's the right time to let him rise or fall under his own steam. Not easy to know your son is flailing. However he's flailing WITH all that you do for him. You are absolutely doing the right thing. He has to decide what his future will be and do the work it takes to improve his own situation. He is a grown man, has three children of his own he needs to fight for a life for. He isn't being served any longer by having the endless contributions of others when he isn't contributing himself to his own future. Will he rise to his own cause and find a new path? I sure hope so. However, if he does not, it is his own decision and his own lack of priorities and it's time for him to live the full effect of those choices. </p><p></p><p>Stay strong LMS. You've done remarkably loving things for all of your children, and your difficult child continues to take advantage while making devastating decisions that impact is life so negatively. He alone is responsible from here on out for what he does with himself. It is high time it is so. Meanwhile, you and husband need a long time to adjust to your new reality, where your kids are grown and they remain your kids but they are adults and need to be distanced from (personal problems part) to a much larger degree. Free yourself from the burdens of parenting a grown man who should be parenting his own children. You were a gift to him all of this time, offering hope and opportunity. You can lead a horse but can't make them drink. Your difficult child is a darn stubborn horse. </p><p></p><p>I wish you the best next week. Just remember, it's going to hurt you when you stand your ground and make him actually go. It's part of life that hard feeling and you will survive it and move beyond it. It's okay for it to be difficult. Just focus with your common sense head and not your heart. You're absolutely doing the right thing. I've just thrown out my S/O for his return to drinking. It's TOUGH. Every waking moment, he was my best friend. It's eating me up. But I had to do the right thing, not the "I wish" or "if only" thing. His choice made my decision for me. Likewise, your difficult child's choice makes yours for you. Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 602079, member: 4264"] I think you know you've done all you could. And then some! I do think it's the right time to let him rise or fall under his own steam. Not easy to know your son is flailing. However he's flailing WITH all that you do for him. You are absolutely doing the right thing. He has to decide what his future will be and do the work it takes to improve his own situation. He is a grown man, has three children of his own he needs to fight for a life for. He isn't being served any longer by having the endless contributions of others when he isn't contributing himself to his own future. Will he rise to his own cause and find a new path? I sure hope so. However, if he does not, it is his own decision and his own lack of priorities and it's time for him to live the full effect of those choices. Stay strong LMS. You've done remarkably loving things for all of your children, and your difficult child continues to take advantage while making devastating decisions that impact is life so negatively. He alone is responsible from here on out for what he does with himself. It is high time it is so. Meanwhile, you and husband need a long time to adjust to your new reality, where your kids are grown and they remain your kids but they are adults and need to be distanced from (personal problems part) to a much larger degree. Free yourself from the burdens of parenting a grown man who should be parenting his own children. You were a gift to him all of this time, offering hope and opportunity. You can lead a horse but can't make them drink. Your difficult child is a darn stubborn horse. I wish you the best next week. Just remember, it's going to hurt you when you stand your ground and make him actually go. It's part of life that hard feeling and you will survive it and move beyond it. It's okay for it to be difficult. Just focus with your common sense head and not your heart. You're absolutely doing the right thing. I've just thrown out my S/O for his return to drinking. It's TOUGH. Every waking moment, he was my best friend. It's eating me up. But I had to do the right thing, not the "I wish" or "if only" thing. His choice made my decision for me. Likewise, your difficult child's choice makes yours for you. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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I need encouragement to do the right thing...
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