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<blockquote data-quote="Jeru" data-source="post: 125799" data-attributes="member: 4683"><p>Okay...so answers to questions-</p><p>(1)There have been no major changes in our life. Isaac is going to the same school, his baby sister is 18mo old, his dad is about to deploy overseas (which he hasn't shown much emotion except when we first told him which was at least 3 months ago-he crawled behind the couch and hid and cried), but now he's of the mind that "when daddy leaves it's gonna be mommy and Issac time all the time"...according to him. But no, my husband hasn't left yet, he will be gone in about a week though which I'm NOT looking forward to, but especially not looking forward to the hardship on the children. We really don't do anything differently...it's the same day in and day out.</p><p>(2)My father is said to be manic depressive, but I see no symptoms and he's not on medications for it. Alcoholism runs all throughout my side of the family, to include brothers mother father. My family is extremely dysfunctional though as far as me & my mother/father/brothers/sister...no wonderful relation there...my husband & I have a beautiful marriage though and are very close with each other and our bb's</p><p>(3)Developmental Problems...no. Separation Anxiety that went on for God at least a yr-yes. So we switched him from place to place, for not only that reason, but also because you know great childcare is hard to find. I wouldn't stop until I could find a place where he wouldn't lose it when I dropped him off. We finally found it ...4 childcare facilities later...Isaac does seem to have a problem with interaction. He'll become over bearing to where the other children are not wanting to play with him, he constantly asks the other children to watch him as if he's got to be the cntr of attn. and I mean out of the ordinary constantly. He does become somewhat physical every now and then but this is not too often. He picks in mean ways. It's almost as if he's trying to be hateful in a sneaky way BUT the really weird thing is that he is extremely loving! He lies a lot too. But I do want to add something here-Isaac was 2 weeks old when his dad deployed the first time. I was a new wife, new mom, new at all of it. I was horrible. I expected Isaac to know a lot more than he did, but I didn't realize this until much later. I didn't have patience, I would yell...when he was 2 & throwing tantrums I would lock him in his room thinking that's what I should do until he calmed down hrs later. I didn't know I should have been working with him, not ignoring him until he was just exhausted from crying & screaming. I was also raised by an extremely angry mother. Anger was very apparent in all of the discipline. So do you think that this has something to do with his panicky/anxiety type behavior? I can't help but think that this has got to have something to do with it. I mean now, patience, calm conversations, listening to what he's got to say are all a major priority because we realize we screwed up big time...we just didn't know what we were doing, and now, we still don't...but now I realize I have to turn outward to seek support & advice, not just assume things like before. So I'm thinking maybe I'm part of his problems...just a little more background to go on...</p><p>(4)Isaac is very panicky when it comes to transition. It could be from going from waking up to the bathtub, from the video games to bed, from playing to dinner time. When something changes and it's time to do somethng else, it's a battle a lot of the times. If I wash his hair first he wanted to bathe first, if I bathe him first he wanted to do his hair first. He wakes up upset constantly. He goes to bed pretty happy because we have a cool routine for him. But just when it comes to everyday things, from one thing to another, he's just constantly not wanting to and get panicky and whiny. As far as going into loud places, he hasn't shown any objection to going anywhere, besides the fact that he just doesn't feel like leaving the house, as if it were a chore. Loud sounds, bright lights do not bother him. Nothing strikes me besides his defiance, his inability to control himself even after he's told to be quiet mommy's talking, he's still rambling about what it is he wants and uncontrollable sometimes... like in the first pediatricians visit about 3 weeks ago, we weren't even there with her for 10 min's before she commented about "wow, he's umm, active...isn't he mom" and began asking me questions on his attn span....she said maybe not ADD/ADHD, but "controllably active". She did say to not be suprised when the reports from school come rolling in...Huh...I'll have to dig more when we go back next week...</p><p>(5)Isaac likes art. He loves to draw-color-build-make-create...he loves to play imaginative things like hunting/camping/pirates...he likes to read, he loves leggos, he likes doing workbook stuff (like school-work books), he loves playdough, he's not feeling the sports thing. We tried to get him into soccer, and he just wasn't into it. I think competition on that level intimidates him, so that's why I was thinking Karate because it's more of a one-on-one thing (plus it teaches self-control techniques). He loves playing /visiting with all of his cousins and he has a bunch of 'em. He adores his baby sister and it's the very first thing he'll ask about as soon as he wakes up is if he can go play with Hannah...then after about 10 mins he's making her cry...he loves playing with friends, he's not a hermit at all when it comes to family/friends. </p><p>I adore him & I want to do what I can to help him understand and deal with being him. I also want to play with him with-o becoming so frustrated that I'd rather run away from him.</p><p>You guys have no idea how grateful I am to have found such a supportive place to go. I hate that I had to seek you out, but I'm happy that you're here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jeru, post: 125799, member: 4683"] Okay...so answers to questions- (1)There have been no major changes in our life. Isaac is going to the same school, his baby sister is 18mo old, his dad is about to deploy overseas (which he hasn't shown much emotion except when we first told him which was at least 3 months ago-he crawled behind the couch and hid and cried), but now he's of the mind that "when daddy leaves it's gonna be mommy and Issac time all the time"...according to him. But no, my husband hasn't left yet, he will be gone in about a week though which I'm NOT looking forward to, but especially not looking forward to the hardship on the children. We really don't do anything differently...it's the same day in and day out. (2)My father is said to be manic depressive, but I see no symptoms and he's not on medications for it. Alcoholism runs all throughout my side of the family, to include brothers mother father. My family is extremely dysfunctional though as far as me & my mother/father/brothers/sister...no wonderful relation there...my husband & I have a beautiful marriage though and are very close with each other and our bb's (3)Developmental Problems...no. Separation Anxiety that went on for God at least a yr-yes. So we switched him from place to place, for not only that reason, but also because you know great childcare is hard to find. I wouldn't stop until I could find a place where he wouldn't lose it when I dropped him off. We finally found it ...4 childcare facilities later...Isaac does seem to have a problem with interaction. He'll become over bearing to where the other children are not wanting to play with him, he constantly asks the other children to watch him as if he's got to be the cntr of attn. and I mean out of the ordinary constantly. He does become somewhat physical every now and then but this is not too often. He picks in mean ways. It's almost as if he's trying to be hateful in a sneaky way BUT the really weird thing is that he is extremely loving! He lies a lot too. But I do want to add something here-Isaac was 2 weeks old when his dad deployed the first time. I was a new wife, new mom, new at all of it. I was horrible. I expected Isaac to know a lot more than he did, but I didn't realize this until much later. I didn't have patience, I would yell...when he was 2 & throwing tantrums I would lock him in his room thinking that's what I should do until he calmed down hrs later. I didn't know I should have been working with him, not ignoring him until he was just exhausted from crying & screaming. I was also raised by an extremely angry mother. Anger was very apparent in all of the discipline. So do you think that this has something to do with his panicky/anxiety type behavior? I can't help but think that this has got to have something to do with it. I mean now, patience, calm conversations, listening to what he's got to say are all a major priority because we realize we screwed up big time...we just didn't know what we were doing, and now, we still don't...but now I realize I have to turn outward to seek support & advice, not just assume things like before. So I'm thinking maybe I'm part of his problems...just a little more background to go on... (4)Isaac is very panicky when it comes to transition. It could be from going from waking up to the bathtub, from the video games to bed, from playing to dinner time. When something changes and it's time to do somethng else, it's a battle a lot of the times. If I wash his hair first he wanted to bathe first, if I bathe him first he wanted to do his hair first. He wakes up upset constantly. He goes to bed pretty happy because we have a cool routine for him. But just when it comes to everyday things, from one thing to another, he's just constantly not wanting to and get panicky and whiny. As far as going into loud places, he hasn't shown any objection to going anywhere, besides the fact that he just doesn't feel like leaving the house, as if it were a chore. Loud sounds, bright lights do not bother him. Nothing strikes me besides his defiance, his inability to control himself even after he's told to be quiet mommy's talking, he's still rambling about what it is he wants and uncontrollable sometimes... like in the first pediatricians visit about 3 weeks ago, we weren't even there with her for 10 min's before she commented about "wow, he's umm, active...isn't he mom" and began asking me questions on his attn span....she said maybe not ADD/ADHD, but "controllably active". She did say to not be suprised when the reports from school come rolling in...Huh...I'll have to dig more when we go back next week... (5)Isaac likes art. He loves to draw-color-build-make-create...he loves to play imaginative things like hunting/camping/pirates...he likes to read, he loves leggos, he likes doing workbook stuff (like school-work books), he loves playdough, he's not feeling the sports thing. We tried to get him into soccer, and he just wasn't into it. I think competition on that level intimidates him, so that's why I was thinking Karate because it's more of a one-on-one thing (plus it teaches self-control techniques). He loves playing /visiting with all of his cousins and he has a bunch of 'em. He adores his baby sister and it's the very first thing he'll ask about as soon as he wakes up is if he can go play with Hannah...then after about 10 mins he's making her cry...he loves playing with friends, he's not a hermit at all when it comes to family/friends. I adore him & I want to do what I can to help him understand and deal with being him. I also want to play with him with-o becoming so frustrated that I'd rather run away from him. You guys have no idea how grateful I am to have found such a supportive place to go. I hate that I had to seek you out, but I'm happy that you're here. [/QUOTE]
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