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I NEED HELP !!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 87640" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Don't worry about your post being long - it's not. I am not good at brevity, myself, and I will give you a run for your money!</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the site. We can help. And undoubtedly, you will be able to help others. You've already been through what some are just getting to now.</p><p></p><p>To begin - a book often mentioned on this site is "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. From my own experience, it helped us a lot. It also helped with the 'normal' kids. It's also easier (in my opinion). But if your husband is finding that being an authoritarian is working for him, then it could cause conflict and make him look like the family ogre. You would both need to be on the same page.</p><p>There is some discussion on this book in Early Childhood. My husband tried to read the book but simply couldn't maintain his focus on it. He was willing, just exhausted. So I summarised it for him, which really helped me, also, to understand it better.</p><p>I also found difficult child 3's behaviour improving, just in the week I was reading the book! I didn't think I was changing anything - yet- about my parenting style, but I must have been, in tiny subtle ways. And it made a big difference.</p><p>It's not a cure - the underlying problems are still there. But it helps a lot, and we can make a lot more progress from where we are now.</p><p></p><p>Be aware - not everybody on this site has success with this. Just a lot. Definitely worth a try. And we are not paid anything to make this announcement, although the amount of times we recommend this, book, I think we should be getting SOMETHING for this site!</p><p></p><p>You acknowledge you need to be more consistent - especially if you're home schooling, this is necessary, if you want him to make progress. Try to not be too competitive with your niece, it won't be good for her or your son. He needs to learn to compete with himself.</p><p></p><p>Our education of difficult child 3 isn't strictly home schooling, although all his work is done at home. It's correspondence, but we do talk to teachers at a school (it's in the city, all students enrolled are correspondence). They have also modified his work, where needed, to his abilities and disabilities. There are a lot of resources you can access, but you do need structure of a sort, even if it's structure worked out largely by your son. My boys, for example - they prefer to work on one subject at a time, do the entire weeks' work for, say, English, and then move on to the next subject. It works for them. Task-changing was a huge issue for both my boys, so this made it easier to accommodate.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, there will be others along with more support and advice.</p><p></p><p>Welcome!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 87640, member: 1991"] Don't worry about your post being long - it's not. I am not good at brevity, myself, and I will give you a run for your money! Welcome to the site. We can help. And undoubtedly, you will be able to help others. You've already been through what some are just getting to now. To begin - a book often mentioned on this site is "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. From my own experience, it helped us a lot. It also helped with the 'normal' kids. It's also easier (in my opinion). But if your husband is finding that being an authoritarian is working for him, then it could cause conflict and make him look like the family ogre. You would both need to be on the same page. There is some discussion on this book in Early Childhood. My husband tried to read the book but simply couldn't maintain his focus on it. He was willing, just exhausted. So I summarised it for him, which really helped me, also, to understand it better. I also found difficult child 3's behaviour improving, just in the week I was reading the book! I didn't think I was changing anything - yet- about my parenting style, but I must have been, in tiny subtle ways. And it made a big difference. It's not a cure - the underlying problems are still there. But it helps a lot, and we can make a lot more progress from where we are now. Be aware - not everybody on this site has success with this. Just a lot. Definitely worth a try. And we are not paid anything to make this announcement, although the amount of times we recommend this, book, I think we should be getting SOMETHING for this site! You acknowledge you need to be more consistent - especially if you're home schooling, this is necessary, if you want him to make progress. Try to not be too competitive with your niece, it won't be good for her or your son. He needs to learn to compete with himself. Our education of difficult child 3 isn't strictly home schooling, although all his work is done at home. It's correspondence, but we do talk to teachers at a school (it's in the city, all students enrolled are correspondence). They have also modified his work, where needed, to his abilities and disabilities. There are a lot of resources you can access, but you do need structure of a sort, even if it's structure worked out largely by your son. My boys, for example - they prefer to work on one subject at a time, do the entire weeks' work for, say, English, and then move on to the next subject. It works for them. Task-changing was a huge issue for both my boys, so this made it easier to accommodate. Anyway, there will be others along with more support and advice. Welcome! Marg [/QUOTE]
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