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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 485766"><p>Aw janet.... big hugs. I have been married 26 years and I agree there are ebbs and flows in any marriages... in fact I heard a study recently that most women in long term marriages often think about leaving and being on their own even though they are happily married. </p><p></p><p>However from what you describe I am concerned about Tony.... that there may be some physical stuff going on with him that he is not totally aware of that is making him more stressed and is affecting his short term memory. I know when I am stressed I tend to overreact to things and lucky for me I am married to a pretty patient and understanding guy.</p><p></p><p>Would you in a calm moment be able to sit down with Tony and tell him you are concerned, that he has been lashing out at you and you are concerned and think it would be a good idea to check in with his doctor? I know men often don't want to see docs and he might not like that but I do think he needs a check up.</p><p></p><p>Years ago my mom told me a story... she had a good friend she played bridge with. This friend was getting very short and snappy with her friends and all the bridge ladies were getting fed up with her. My mom, good friend that she was, called her friend up and told her needed to go and get a full check up and if they didn't find anything she needed to to a psychiatrist, that something was wrong!!! We are talking about a much older generation than us here. Took my mom guts to do that I think. Well her friend took her advice and it turned out she had the beginnings of early glaucoma. She was slowly losing her eyesight and didn't know it and it was making her very short tempered. She got drops etc. and her mood improved... and of course she was very thankful to my mom for speaking so directly.</p><p></p><p>So physical problems can come out in short fuses and it does sound like this might be happening with Tony. Also the fact that he had a stroke.... there may be other things going on.</p><p></p><p>Hugs... this is tough stuff on top fo everything else you are dealing with.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 485766"] Aw janet.... big hugs. I have been married 26 years and I agree there are ebbs and flows in any marriages... in fact I heard a study recently that most women in long term marriages often think about leaving and being on their own even though they are happily married. However from what you describe I am concerned about Tony.... that there may be some physical stuff going on with him that he is not totally aware of that is making him more stressed and is affecting his short term memory. I know when I am stressed I tend to overreact to things and lucky for me I am married to a pretty patient and understanding guy. Would you in a calm moment be able to sit down with Tony and tell him you are concerned, that he has been lashing out at you and you are concerned and think it would be a good idea to check in with his doctor? I know men often don't want to see docs and he might not like that but I do think he needs a check up. Years ago my mom told me a story... she had a good friend she played bridge with. This friend was getting very short and snappy with her friends and all the bridge ladies were getting fed up with her. My mom, good friend that she was, called her friend up and told her needed to go and get a full check up and if they didn't find anything she needed to to a psychiatrist, that something was wrong!!! We are talking about a much older generation than us here. Took my mom guts to do that I think. Well her friend took her advice and it turned out she had the beginnings of early glaucoma. She was slowly losing her eyesight and didn't know it and it was making her very short tempered. She got drops etc. and her mood improved... and of course she was very thankful to my mom for speaking so directly. So physical problems can come out in short fuses and it does sound like this might be happening with Tony. Also the fact that he had a stroke.... there may be other things going on. Hugs... this is tough stuff on top fo everything else you are dealing with. TL [/QUOTE]
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