Dearest Rosie,
I am hoping with all my heart that what you feel is true.
I know if you looked up the website, the images can be scary.
Sometimes the changes can be quite subtle, and happen over a long time.
I would ask that you read this with an open mind, please do not take my reply as an attempt to be harsh.
I do care, and hope you reread
some of
your own words written below
.
My 24 year old daughter has recently admitted to using Ice.
Please ask your daughter, why she would admit to such a thing. My daughter
has never, I mean
never admitted to using ice.
Two days ago I received a credit card statement for a card I don't use which showed that $1500 had been placed on the card.
This is not right Rosie, this is theft.
What did she buy with all of that money?
Where are the purchases?
I confronted her and she admitted to everything.
Please remember what she admitted to. This may be an opening for her to get help,
not from you, from a rehab, if that is necessary. The longer addiction is active, the harder it is to quit.
I feel so annoyed at myself because I know I have enabled her behaviour by constantly paying off her debts, rent, giving her money for petrol etc, often hiding what I was doing from my family.
She constantly misses car repayments and her new boyfriend has had an accident in her car with significant damage.
I feel relieved that I have decided that enough is enough and No more of this pathetic parenting.
All of this was written yesterday, Rosie, what changed since then?
I am sure that she is not using ICE.
How are you sure of this? Again, why would a 24 year old admit to using ice to her mother?
Her behaviour is completely different, she is sleeping, eating, she is not erratic etc.
My daughter is able to behave somewhat normally, when there is a need to.
I now know that this is because she couldn't afford the $60.
There were always reasons with my daughter, why she couldn't go to the doctor.
Our daughters are not the same people, I am not trying to say that they are. What I am trying to share with you, is that the patterns are similar. Your response patterns are similar to mine. I would get fed up with the lying, things missing, confront my daughter, and she would change just enough to be in our good graces. Then everything would start all over again. It was a horrific roller coaster ride.
Rosie, you must do what you must do. You are the one who has to face yourself in the mirror. I know you want desperately to help your daughter.
I have done the same.
She is 24, still young, but still an adult. I hope with my deepest hope that she will turn her life around.
I would be remiss in being truthful, if I did not share my gut feelings with you. You are asking for encouragement. I am sorry that I cannot just give you pretty words, only more questions.
Please take my reaching out to you as a way for you to think very long and very hard on this.
I yo-yoed up and down for many years with my daughter.
She was clever enough to pull herself together, when it seemed like we were going to get tough with her.
This is how addiction works. It works on them, and it works on us.
It is easy for them to fool us, because
we so want to believe.
If your daughter has just started with ice it is much easier for her to kick it, then if she becomes entrenched, as my daughter is.
Your quick action, may make a huge difference for her life.
Please do not be offended by this reply.
You must do what you must do. It is your path, and your daughters path.
I am encouraging you to rethink all of this.
To see it with your head, and not your heart.
It is very, very hard. But very, very important.
Wish you all the best, for you and your daughter
(((HUGS)))
leafy