Last year my now 12 yr old son fell into a deep anxiety. He told me his body was telling him to hurt himself and at times to kill me. This was a shock to say the least because we have never had any problems with him. It was very scary. The one self harm thought that put us over the edge was the need to jump from the 3rd floor balcony at the Mall of America. He won that battle but it was a strong one. He could not get down to ground level fast enough and then fell apart once outside and safe. We got into a therapist within days of that episode.
The therapist went through the normal first visit orientation covering the services he provided. He than said he could only see us once a week and if we needed more help we should go to the psychiatric hospital for services. So, I made a few appts and on the way out the door, difficult child fell apart again. "Mom, I need more help. I can't fight this anymore. My body wants me to hurt myself but I don't want to." We went down the block and had him evaluated - he was admitted for two weeks.
It is very scary hearing those words from your child that they want to hurt or kill themselves. It really is something beyond their control. You have to count it as a blessing for your child to say something to you. I think it would be really hard to admit to anyone that you want to hurt yourself or kill yourself. The child is telling his/her mom because he/she is looking for help. Yes, sometimes it may be a ploy to see how you will react, but even so, you must send the message loud and strong that you are there to help and this is serious business.
I think of all the kids who do kill themselves or follow through on a dangerous self harm action. Did they not feel comfortable telling an adult what was going on or did they try to ask for help but the adult didn't understand the seriousness of it.
Sometimes we want to say, "No, don't do that - I love you and want you here." because that is the easiest way out for us (though it costs dearly in the end for some). It is kind of a denial. Maybe if we try to down play it it will go away. I wonder if I did that at the beginning. Easier to just tell my child to stop those thoughts. But sometimes it doesn't. The possible tragic ending is enough to follow every threat or statement as serious and get to the bottom of it.
Tell him you take back about locking him up. Tell him that you love him and want to help him figure out why he wants to kill himself. A psychiatrist or therapist can help - give him a neutral party to talk to. That person can also help you with the appropriate responses when/if your son tells you that again. Believe me, you DO want to know when he is thinking this because if you do not, you are powerless to stop it.
I don't think that many people realize that there is an evaluation before an admission. There are criterias to met. Those criterias will help you if you are struggling with "do I or don't I?" Let the evaluation decide. The professionals will turn you away if they don't see that there is a need.
Good luck! I am sending special warrior mom strength.
How does a 9 year old child get this from????????
I am taking him this afternoon to see a counselor. I am truly at my wits end with this child. He has trouble making friends, and says that he don't have anyone to play with
. It breaks my heart to even think that he just sits on the wall at recess. Every parent wants their children to have lots of friends. I just want to know if your difficult child's have the same problems. 
