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Parent Emeritus
I Need some objective and experienced opinions.....
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 599970" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Welcome--</p><p></p><p>As a parent whose difficult child is recently out of the house - I've come to a realization:</p><p></p><p>difficult children will manipulate those who allow themselves to be manipulated.</p><p></p><p>So, instead of trying to control what your son does by means of contracts, agreements, deals, and bargains....you need to decide what is OK with you <em>regardless</em> of your difficult child's actions. Know what I mean?? IOW - if you wanted to give your son a gold coin as a present...you would do it purely because it was what YOU wanted to do - and you were 100% OK with whatever he decided to do with the coin: treasure it, pawn it, put it in a vending machine, throw it in a wishing well...etc.</p><p></p><p>If you do not feel good about paying his rent without something from him in return - then you should NOT do it. Period.</p><p></p><p>If you allow yourself to be used for money - you will be used. If you don't allow it - he will find another sucker. They always do...</p><p></p><p>(((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 599970, member: 6546"] Welcome-- As a parent whose difficult child is recently out of the house - I've come to a realization: difficult children will manipulate those who allow themselves to be manipulated. So, instead of trying to control what your son does by means of contracts, agreements, deals, and bargains....you need to decide what is OK with you [I]regardless[/I] of your difficult child's actions. Know what I mean?? IOW - if you wanted to give your son a gold coin as a present...you would do it purely because it was what YOU wanted to do - and you were 100% OK with whatever he decided to do with the coin: treasure it, pawn it, put it in a vending machine, throw it in a wishing well...etc. If you do not feel good about paying his rent without something from him in return - then you should NOT do it. Period. If you allow yourself to be used for money - you will be used. If you don't allow it - he will find another sucker. They always do... (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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I Need some objective and experienced opinions.....
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