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I Need some objective and experienced opinions.....
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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 600174" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Thank you all so much for your thoughts and your wisdom. It is much appreciated. I will definitely consult a lawyer before proceeding, especially if husband and I have to sign a lease on difficult child's behalf. I'm hoping to find a month to month situation for him or a short term lease so we won't be stuck paying long term if things don't work out. </p><p></p><p>We have not offered difficult child anything so far. We did meet with him on Sunday afternoon at a local restaurant. He paid for his own meal even though we offered to pay. 1 point for difficult child. At first he seemed to have his angry bad attitude but that melted very quickly. I think he realized he missed us. I think husband being there was so important to this whole thing. He and difficult child have not spoken in 7 months. We just expressed that we respected that he no longer wanted to live at home but that we didn't see any reason why we couldn't have a relationship and all get along. The hard shell seemed to melt very quickly and at one point I thought he was almost overcome with emotion because he didn't speak for a minute and had to look away. </p><p></p><p>He told us that he has a plan to graduate high school (apparently he can do some accelerated courses) and he wants to take a hospitality/bartending course at college. it's a 1 year course. We're just glad he has a plan. It's not up to his potential at all but he has a plan to get trained to do 'something' and if he can make a living and be happy then we are happy too. </p><p></p><p>He also has a new girlfriend. Apparently she has graduated high school and is looking for a job. She is older - 19 in August. She could sign a lease herself, I guess. They are planning on moving in together. Sigh. Of course we haven't even met her yet and they have only been dating a few weeks, I think. So, I don't know how that is going to pan out. </p><p></p><p>We didn't offer to rent him a room or anything yet. He was asked to leave his last place of residence a week ago. He stayed in the homeless shelter for a week and is now staying with a friend whose parents are out of town on holidays for the next two weeks. After that he'll have to go back to the homeless shelter unless he can find another sympathetic friend. I really don't want that for him but husband and I decided to wait on offering to pay for anything. We have a bit of time before school starts in September and he says he's not doing summer school. I guess we want to see if difficult child is sincere in his desire to have a relationship with us without any strings attached. </p><p></p><p>If we do pay for a place for him to stay it will be on the same terms that we would pay if he was away at college. I am more than happy to help support a college student that is going to school and making decent grades. If that doesn't happen then it's time for the student to find his own way in the world. Does that make sense? I said to husband, maybe we should look at this next year of high school as if it were his first year of college. A trial run so to speak. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, I'm cautiously hopeful that things will get better and difficult child will find a way to have a relationship with us that isn't hostile. easy child even spoke to him for a little while. Not sure how she feels about the whole thing - we haven't had time to have a sit down and discuss it yet. I wanted to give her some time to process things first.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 600174, member: 14356"] Thank you all so much for your thoughts and your wisdom. It is much appreciated. I will definitely consult a lawyer before proceeding, especially if husband and I have to sign a lease on difficult child's behalf. I'm hoping to find a month to month situation for him or a short term lease so we won't be stuck paying long term if things don't work out. We have not offered difficult child anything so far. We did meet with him on Sunday afternoon at a local restaurant. He paid for his own meal even though we offered to pay. 1 point for difficult child. At first he seemed to have his angry bad attitude but that melted very quickly. I think he realized he missed us. I think husband being there was so important to this whole thing. He and difficult child have not spoken in 7 months. We just expressed that we respected that he no longer wanted to live at home but that we didn't see any reason why we couldn't have a relationship and all get along. The hard shell seemed to melt very quickly and at one point I thought he was almost overcome with emotion because he didn't speak for a minute and had to look away. He told us that he has a plan to graduate high school (apparently he can do some accelerated courses) and he wants to take a hospitality/bartending course at college. it's a 1 year course. We're just glad he has a plan. It's not up to his potential at all but he has a plan to get trained to do 'something' and if he can make a living and be happy then we are happy too. He also has a new girlfriend. Apparently she has graduated high school and is looking for a job. She is older - 19 in August. She could sign a lease herself, I guess. They are planning on moving in together. Sigh. Of course we haven't even met her yet and they have only been dating a few weeks, I think. So, I don't know how that is going to pan out. We didn't offer to rent him a room or anything yet. He was asked to leave his last place of residence a week ago. He stayed in the homeless shelter for a week and is now staying with a friend whose parents are out of town on holidays for the next two weeks. After that he'll have to go back to the homeless shelter unless he can find another sympathetic friend. I really don't want that for him but husband and I decided to wait on offering to pay for anything. We have a bit of time before school starts in September and he says he's not doing summer school. I guess we want to see if difficult child is sincere in his desire to have a relationship with us without any strings attached. If we do pay for a place for him to stay it will be on the same terms that we would pay if he was away at college. I am more than happy to help support a college student that is going to school and making decent grades. If that doesn't happen then it's time for the student to find his own way in the world. Does that make sense? I said to husband, maybe we should look at this next year of high school as if it were his first year of college. A trial run so to speak. Anyway, I'm cautiously hopeful that things will get better and difficult child will find a way to have a relationship with us that isn't hostile. easy child even spoke to him for a little while. Not sure how she feels about the whole thing - we haven't had time to have a sit down and discuss it yet. I wanted to give her some time to process things first. [/QUOTE]
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