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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 192660" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>You have my prayers for you and for M. I heard the expression "I need such and such to happen so that I can move on with my life" yesterday from another friend, who is going through a divorce, and is despondent. I made nice noises to her at the time, because it's always hard to come up with good advice on the spot like that. Seeing it in your post today, I am lucky enough to have had the opportunity to have thought about it recently.</p><p></p><p>You are going to get on with your life no matter what happens with M. It's the nature of life. You are on separate paths now. No matter what you do with yourself, it won't change what M does for himself. All you can do is make your own life better for yourself. Don't throw away this opportunity that is TODAY by waiting for M to get with the program in Utah.</p><p></p><p>As to M and the program, I thought you were ok with the medications situation? You said that they understood and were dealing appropriately with it. Is there something more you or they should do? I know he is having a hard time, but that's what the program is about. That's what change is. We may hate our lives but we know how to live it the way we have been for the past 18 years. M understands who is has been and what he has done with his life. Looking ahead and saying "I don't like what I am and I am going to change the very core of what I am to make a better life for myself" is terrifying. And much easier to do when you are 18 than when you are 50. </p><p></p><p>He <em>can</em> make this placement work. But it's not a pill, it's a long term program. So, you have to plan for it to be hard for him at first. Have faith in yourself that you made the right decision. Move on with your life because that's what we do every day, whether our kid's welfare dominates our thoughts, or we just do what is best for us because we know that our kids have an opportunity that they haven't tried before and it's time for us to let them try it on their own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 192660, member: 99"] You have my prayers for you and for M. I heard the expression "I need such and such to happen so that I can move on with my life" yesterday from another friend, who is going through a divorce, and is despondent. I made nice noises to her at the time, because it's always hard to come up with good advice on the spot like that. Seeing it in your post today, I am lucky enough to have had the opportunity to have thought about it recently. You are going to get on with your life no matter what happens with M. It's the nature of life. You are on separate paths now. No matter what you do with yourself, it won't change what M does for himself. All you can do is make your own life better for yourself. Don't throw away this opportunity that is TODAY by waiting for M to get with the program in Utah. As to M and the program, I thought you were ok with the medications situation? You said that they understood and were dealing appropriately with it. Is there something more you or they should do? I know he is having a hard time, but that's what the program is about. That's what change is. We may hate our lives but we know how to live it the way we have been for the past 18 years. M understands who is has been and what he has done with his life. Looking ahead and saying "I don't like what I am and I am going to change the very core of what I am to make a better life for myself" is terrifying. And much easier to do when you are 18 than when you are 50. He [i]can[/i] make this placement work. But it's not a pill, it's a long term program. So, you have to plan for it to be hard for him at first. Have faith in yourself that you made the right decision. Move on with your life because that's what we do every day, whether our kid's welfare dominates our thoughts, or we just do what is best for us because we know that our kids have an opportunity that they haven't tried before and it's time for us to let them try it on their own. [/QUOTE]
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