I need to know I am not alone

[Steely]

On the serious side..........

As far as you and for Matt you need to start swinging towards the acceptance that he is an adult and sometime, probably soon, he will no longer be in your control. If he wanted to call you he would. I suspect that he may want to talk to you, but the issue has become about whether or not you are constantly controlling his situation, not whether he needs and wants you.

The deal is that Matt is not allowed to call me. So my conundrum does not lie in just "letting him go" but in whether he is safe. If it was just a matter of letting him grow up I could deal with it. But there is a part of me, that feels he is not safe, not in a healthy situation, locked into a program that is not in his best interest.


I feel like I can't offer all the words of wisdom that I wish I could and find myself always telling you to just hang in there. The only thing that seems to work for me is writing letters to these people- they start out as drafts with me venting about everything they are doing or saying that is royally ticking me off and why.
So true. I do this a lot. Great advice.


I have gotten the same treatment before- one therapist didn't even know us yet and said "the first thing he has to do when it's a single mom with a son is to break the incestuous emotional relationship they have with each other".
I might have gone postal. I can't tell you how many doctors/counselors I have had say this type of thing to me. I even had one of the counselors "hit on me" under the guise of "helping Matt". OMGGGGGGGGGG.


I recently went to a workshop on journal writing and here are some "assignments". Don't care about punctuation. Here are some lists you can make-Times you've claimed your own power, all the names you've ever been called, dependable joys, things you believe in, what pleased you today, a list of what is still normal in your life, uplifting people, things you've thrown out that you wished you hadn't...
Was it Natalie Goldberg? I have listened to her tapes and read her books. She is awesome.


Thanks again for all of your support.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Oh sweetie, you are so not alone. I don't even know what to say, just that I love ya and I pray for you all the time.

 

[KTMom91]

You're not alone, Steely. I think about you and Matt often, and keep you both in my prayers. What can I do to help?

 

[flutterby]

You're not alone.

This may sound strange to some, but I have held onto my dog and cried and sobbed and let it all out. You know, she never left my side. She never said, "There, there. It will be better tomorrow." She never felt uncomfortable not knowing what to do or say. She never got tired of me hanging onto her. She just sat there and let me cry into her fur. And, when I was done and wiping my tears, she just put her head in my lap. And I knew then that I wasn't alone.

More than any person in my life - family or friends - my pets have never left my side when I was inconsolable and needed to not be alone.

(((hugs)))

 

[Wiped Out]

Steely,
Sending hugs your way. You and Matt continue to be in my daily prayers.

 

[Steely]

Flutter - I came home tonight and instantly cried when I saw my fur babies. Such unconditional love.
Will you guys please read my post on PE and help me? I am freaking out today even harder after this latest news on Matt.